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For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v.3

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 3
Dear Mrs Watson, I regret to inform you that I can no longer maintain my classic membership with your club from next month onwards. I am Andrew Scott, living a few blocks away from the club and have been a member since the beginning of its journey. I would request you to cancel my membership from next month. I paid my monthly membership fee online and it was £35 per month. Attached documents show my last six months' transactions to the club and all my transactions are paid in time. This club is indeed a blessing to our locality as the community members did not have enough recreational facilities and just had a jogging track without any proper marking. But with the emergence of this distinguished club, they were benefitted profoundly. I personally gained from it enormously - I made some good friends, learned the rules of various games, took part in outdoor activities and last but not least, learned valuable skills. With a heavy heart and immense regret, I am discontinuing my bond with this club due to my recent job transfer to the USA. I have no words to fill my sorrow over this decision, but I feel this is just the softest way to communicate my decision. Sincerely yours, Andrew Scott
Dear Mrs Watson,

I regret to inform you that I can no longer maintain my classic membership with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
from
next
month onwards. I am Andrew Scott, living a few blocks away from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
and have been a member since the beginning of its journey.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would request you to cancel my membership from
next
month.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
paid my monthly membership fee online and it was £35 per month. Attached documents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
my last six months' transactions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
and all my transactions
are paid
in time.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
is
indeed
a blessing to our locality as the community members did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
recreational facilities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had a jogging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
without any proper marking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the emergence of this distinguished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
, they were
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
profoundly
. I
personally
gained from it
enormously
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends, learned the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of various games,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in outdoor activities and last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, learned valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

With a heavy heart and immense regret, I am discontinuing my bond with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
due to my recent job transfer to the USA. I have no words to fill my sorrow over this decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I feel this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the softest way to communicate my decision.

Sincerely
yours,

Andrew Scott
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
213 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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