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For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v.4

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 4
Dear Mr Brooke, I regret to inform you that I have to discontinue my level 2 membership at your Golden Hook Fishing Club. I joined the Club a year ago and the benefits of the participation well exceeded the membership fee. I am hoping that you would help me finish the official procedure to cancel my membership. I received numerous benefits from the club as a level 2 member. The roundtables and lectures of famous fishermen were absolutely brilliant. Moreover, discounts on the equipment in sports gear shops was a money saver. Last but not least, your monthly illustrated magazine was a precious treat for me. Unfortunately, I have to move to France next month because of my father's health condition. I must acknowledge that continuing the membership of your Club is no longer an option for me as I will be leaving London soon. I have paid my monthly fee using my credit card and its details could be found in your database. I request you not to charge me any membership fee for the next month. I am ready to fill in the membership cancellation form at your office next Monday. I wish every success of this club and its members. Yours sincerely, John Philip
Dear Mr Brooke,

I regret to inform you that I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
discontinue my level 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
at your Golden Hook Fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Club
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Club
a year ago and the benefits of the participation well exceeded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
fee.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me finish the official procedure to cancel my membership.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
received numerous benefits from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
as a level 2 member. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
roundtables
and lectures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
fishermen were
absolutely
brilliant.
Moreover
, discounts on the equipment in sports gear shops was a money saver. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, your monthly illustrated magazine was a precious treat for me.

Unfortunately, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to France
next
month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my father's health condition. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge that continuing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Club
is no longer an option for me as I will be leaving London
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

I have paid my monthly fee using my credit card and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
could
be found
in your database.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
request you not to charge me any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
fee for the
next
month.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am ready to fill in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
cancellation form at your office
next
Monday.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
wish every success of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
and its members.

Yours
sincerely
,

John Philip
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS letter For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 4

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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