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For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v.6

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 6
Dear Mr Nielsen, I am writing in regard to the cancellation of my membership at the Philippine Society of Mechanical Engineers club. I have been a Platinum Plus member since 2014 and received numerous benefits. I have decided to cancel my membership as I will migrate to Australia soon. This club has been a great help to me. As a member, I have learned many things through seminars conducted by our society. I have also met professionals within our group and received useful career advice from them. My payments are up to date and I enclose a copy of my payment records which I made through an affiliated bank. With regards to my decision to leave the club, a year ago I applied for residency in Australia, and last week I received the 'Approval Visa'. Under the circumstances, I have to cancel my membership as I will leave the country next month. I now seek your accreditation as I am interested in joining a similar group in Australia, and they might ask for a reference. I might, therefore, request a reference from you in the near future. Thank you in advance and my best wishes for its members. Yours sincerely, Joel Calderon
Dear Mr Nielsen,

I am writing in regard to the cancellation of my membership at the Philippine Society of Mechanical Engineers club. I have been a Platinum Plus member since 2014 and received numerous benefits.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have decided to cancel my membership as I will migrate to Australia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

This club has been a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to me. As a member, I have learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things through seminars conducted by our society. I have
also
met professionals within our group and received useful career advice from them. My payments are up to date and I enclose a copy of my payment records which I made through an affiliated bank.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
my decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the club, a year ago I applied for residency in Australia, and last week I received the 'Approval Visa'. Under the circumstances, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cancel my membership as I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the country
next
month.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
seek your accreditation as I
am interested
in joining a similar group in Australia, and they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a reference. I might,
therefore
, request a reference from you in the near future.

Thank you in advance and my best wishes for its members.

Yours
sincerely
,

Joel Calderon
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS letter For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 6

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
201 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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