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For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v.5

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 5
Dear Mr Robinson, I have been a member of your fitness and wellness club for the last 2 years. I have been immensely benefitted from my membership but unfortunately, I can’t continue it because of my broken legs. I am hoping that you would allow me to cancel my membership effective from next month. I joined the club in September 2016 and I enjoy the gold membership which charges me $45 per month. With my membership, I am allowed to use the gym, yoga classes, and physicians' advice. I have paid all of the membership fees in time using my Visa Card and I really am satisfied with your the benefits the club offers to its members. Unfortunately last week, towards the end of my work, I slipped and fell on a wet floor and broke my leg. It was a severe accident and the doctors did surgery on my leg. According to the doctor's advice, I should not take part in any form of exercises until I fully recover. Considering the situation, I cannot continue my membership at your club for at least 4-5 months. So, please cancel my membership and I hope to return to your club once I feel fit for that. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Milad Rahimi
Dear Mr Robinson,

I have been a member of your fitness and wellness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
for the last 2 years. I have been
immensely
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, I can’t continue it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my broken legs.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to cancel my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
effective from
next
month.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
in September 2016 and I enjoy the gold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
which charges me $45 per month. With my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the gym, yoga classes, and physicians' advice. I have paid
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
fees in time using my Visa Card and I
really
am satisfied
with your the benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
offers to its members.

Unfortunately last week, towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of my work, I slipped and fell on a wet floor and broke my leg. It was a severe accident and the doctors did surgery on my leg. According to the doctor's advice, I should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in any form of exercises until I
fully
recover. Considering the situation, I cannot continue my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
for at least 4-5 months.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
cancel my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
and I hope to return to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
once I feel fit for that.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Milad
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rahimi
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS letter For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 5

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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