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Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.8

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement? v. 8
Financial management is one attribute that everybody needs to acquire. It is required for the day to day management of our governments, businesses and homes. Because of it' s importance, most people are advocating that it becomes a compulsory part of the school curriculum. However, I disagree with this view. This is because, it is a skill that can be learnt in the course of life and also, it will limit students from taking other subjects that might be of interest to them. First, financial management qualities are what one can learn through daily activities. Starting from childhood, one begins to study how to manage finances by running errands for parents and relatives as well. As the person grows older, his involvement with money matters grows as well, and during college, parents give their wards the money to pay for their school fees, buy textbooks and manage their feeding. With this kind of involvement, the child is trained to prioritize, and if the fund is mismanaged, he suffers for it. The skills acquired through this kind of learning is more than what anybody can gain from any financial studies. In addition, if financial education is made compulsory, it knocks off the possibility of a student taking one other course that might make a difference in his life. This course that is the forgone alternative might be the defining factor in the child' s life. For example, when I was in the university, I had an option to take an elective while studying history. I had so much zeal in computer science that I chose a course in the field. Since graduation, I have gone on to break grounds in the subject and have two papers that I' m about to publish in the field. If during my tertiary education, financial education was not optional, probably, I would not have had the opportunity to do the works I have done in this field. In conclusion, while the gains of financial studies is appealing, making it compulsory in the school curriculum will imply limiting our students to the number of options they can take. It is a quality that requires practical experience and the best way to acquire it is through real life experience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Financial
management is one attribute that everybody needs to acquire. It
is required
for the day to day management of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, businesses and homes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s importance, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are advocating that it becomes a compulsory part of the school curriculum.
However
, I disagree with this view. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
also
, it will limit students from taking other subjects that might be of interest to them.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
management qualities are what one can learn through daily activities. Starting from childhood, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to study how to manage finances by running errands for parents and relatives
as well
. As the person grows older, his involvement with money matters grows
as well
, and during college, parents give their wards the money to pay for their school fees,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
textbooks and manage their feeding. With this kind of involvement, the child
is trained
to prioritize, and if the fund
is mismanaged
, he suffers for it. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
acquired through this kind of learning is more than what anybody can gain from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
studies.

In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education
is made
compulsory, it knocks off the possibility of a student taking one other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
that might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
that is
the forgone alternative might be the defining factor in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, when I was in the university, I had an option to take an elective while studying history. I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much zeal in computer science that I chose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in the field. Since graduation, I have gone on to break grounds in the subject and have two papers that
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m about to publish in the field. If during my tertiary education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education was not optional,
probably
, I would not have had the opportunity to do the works I have done in this field.

In conclusion
, while the gains of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
studies is appealing, making it compulsory in the school curriculum will imply limiting our students to the number of options they can take. It is a quality that requires practical experience and the best way to acquire it is through real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS letter Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement? v. 8

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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