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You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Introd v.4

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Introd v. 4
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction towards the service provided by the service center of your company. My name is Jessica Ayri, a regular customer at your store in Dubai mall. On 5th May 2018, I purchased a canon camera worth AED 2000. For your reference my bill invoice number is 122. As we are having a baby shower at our house, we thought of capturing the irreplaceable moments of our lives. However, to my notice as soon as I unwrapped the camera there was a crack on its lenses. I, immediately returned it to the merchandiser at your store. He had committed to return the camera within two working days. Unfortunately, it is more than a week now and the camera is not yet repaired. I would expect a replacement or a cash back. Also, would request you to closely look into the matter and help us sort it out at the earliest. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Jessica Ayri
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction towards the service provided by the service center of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

My name is Jessica
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ayri
, a regular customer at your store in Dubai mall. On 5th May 2018, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a canon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
worth AED 2000. For your reference my bill invoice number is 122.

As we are having a baby shower at our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of capturing the irreplaceable moments of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, to my notice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I unwrapped the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
there was a crack on its lenses. I, immediately returned it to the merchandiser at your store. He had committed to return the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
within two working days. Unfortunately, it is more than a week
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
is not
yet
repaired.

I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a replacement or a cash back.
Also
, would request you to
closely
look into the matter and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us sort it out at the earliest.

Looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Jessica
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ayri
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Introd v. 4

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Introd v.4