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An unknown person took you to hospital after your incident. He looked after you till your parents arrived. Write a letter to express your thanks v.2

An unknown person took you to hospital after your incident. He looked after you till your parents arrived. Write a letter to express your thanks v. 2
Dear TOM, I am writing this letter to express my gratitude for your kindness and care you provided to me during my accident period. The last thing that I remember before accident is that I was lying in blood and seeking for any help from bypasses. I reminisce that few people just arrived but did not offer any help on accident site and then I got fainted and found myself in hospital with my parents. My parents told me that you brought me to hospital and also found out about my guardians and asked hospital to inform my parents. Besides, it was too generous that you waited for full night for my patents to arrive and did not even get a blink of sleep. What a big heart you have. I have recuperated well and doctor said that I shall be able to follow normal routine in few weeks. As soon as I am given the permission to walk, I would like to meet you personally and have a coffer with you. Don’t worry, I know you are too busy in your business but I would not take much time from you. I am looking forward to meeting with you soon. Yours sincerely, PAPA JONES
Dear TOM,

I am writing this letter to express my gratitude for your kindness and care you provided to me during my accident period.

The last thing that I remember
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
accident is that I was lying in blood and seeking for any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from bypasses. I reminisce that few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
arrived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
did not offer any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
on accident site and then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
fainted and found myself in hospital with my parents.

My parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that you brought me to hospital and
also
found out about my guardians and asked hospital to inform my parents.
Besides
, it was too generous that you waited for full night for my patents to arrive and did not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a blink of sleep. What a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
heart you have. I have recuperated well and doctor said that I shall be able to follow normal routine in few weeks. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the permission to walk, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you
personally
and have a coffer with you.

Don’t worry, I know you are too busy in your business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would not take much time from you.

I am looking forward to meeting with you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
PAPA
JONES
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS letter An unknown person took you to hospital after your incident. He looked after you till your parents arrived. Write a letter to express your thanks v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
204 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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