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Your local hospital has advertised for people to help to do unpaid work helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter Explain why you would like to do unpaid work v.2

Your local hospital has advertised for people to help to do unpaid work helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter Explain why you would like to do unpaid work v. 2
Dear Sir, I hope you are doing well. I’m writing this letter to you regarding the advertisement you have posted in the newspaper: required people as a helping hand in the hospital. I really wanted to be part of this great work. I always have a keen interest in social service. I myself a social worker and prefer to help others interestingly. My agenda of living is to live for others. We all live for ourselves but living for others gives actual happiness. I myself have a good experience in management. It would be easy for me to supervise everything like maintaining the stationary or management of janitors or maintaining the quantity of laboratory equipment etc. This week I have some other commitments. But next week, I do not have any important meeting. So it would be easy for me to spare time and become part of such a notable social welfare. Kindly confirm me with the best suitable time and date within next week. I will put my efforts with complete zeal and endurance. Looking forward to your reply. Thanks. Yours faithfully Ravi
Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I’m writing this letter to you regarding the advertisement you have posted in the newspaper: required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as a helping hand in the hospital.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
really
wanted to be part of this great work.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
always have a keen interest in social service.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
myself a social worker and prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others
interestingly
. My agenda of living is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for others. We all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for ourselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
living for others gives actual happiness.

I myself have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience in management. It would be easy for me to supervise everything like maintaining the stationary or management of janitors or maintaining the quantity of laboratory equipment etc.

This week I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
commitments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
next
week, I do not have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
meeting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it would be easy for me to spare time and become part of such a notable social welfare. Kindly confirm me with the best suitable time and date within
next
week. I will put my efforts with complete zeal and endurance.

Looking forward to your reply. Thanks.

Yours
faithfully


Ravi
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter Your local hospital has advertised for people to help to do unpaid work helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter Explain why you would like to do unpaid work v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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