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A letter to your friend traveling overseas. You are staying at their apartment and there was a storm. Tell your friend about the storm. Tell them what was damaged and details what repairs need to be done. v.2

A letter to your friend traveling overseas. You are staying at their apartment and there was a storm. Tell your friend about the storm. Tell them what was damaged and details what repairs need to be done. v. 2
Dear Anna, How your trip is going? Thank you for letting me to stay in your flat while you are abroad. I regret to bother you during your vacation in Thailand but it is a matter of urgency. I am writing to inform you that yesterday a storm was passing by and unfortunately, it caused some damage in your penthouse. In fact, the storm happened so suddenly that I was not ready for it and the weather forecast said that it would be sunny without a cloud. Anyway, I was reading a book on a terrace when a wind started to blow violently and the sky suddenly became dark. It was so scary that I run straight inside and a moment later, I had heard a loud bang behind. When everything was quiet, I realized that the large glass window entering to the terrace was broken. As well as some stuff was wrecked on the terrace such as a small glass table and pots with rose bushes. Thus, the glass on the window and the table should be replaced and as roses were destroyed, you need to buy new ones. By the way, I have removed all broken glass and a litter from the terrace and it look like normal again. Do not worry and enjoy yourself as I have already invited a master to deal with the window in order to repair it. When you come back, we will go to the market and choose new flowers for you. It is a good chance to purchase an unusual plant for the terrace. Take care of yourself. Bye, yours Maria
Dear Anna,

How your trip is going? Thank you for letting me to stay in your flat while you are abroad.

I
The verb 'regret' is used with the gerund form: "regret bothering".
regret to bother
you during your vacation in Thailand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a matter of urgency. I am writing to inform you that yesterday a storm was passing by and unfortunately, it caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
damage in your penthouse.

In fact, the storm happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
suddenly
that I was not ready for it and the weather forecast said that it would be sunny without a cloud. Anyway, I was reading a book on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrace
when a wind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to blow
violently
and the sky
suddenly
became dark. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
scary that I run straight inside and a moment later, I had heard a loud bang behind.

When everything was quiet, I realized that the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
window entering to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrace
was broken
.
As well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stuff
was wrecked
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrace
such as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
table and pots with rose bushes.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
on the window and the table should
be replaced
and as roses were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
, you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new ones. By the way, I have removed all broken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
and a litter from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrace
and it
Did you mean "looks"?
look
like normal again.

Do not worry and enjoy yourself as I have already invited a master to deal with the window in order to repair it. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back, we will go to the market and choose new flowers for you. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
an unusual plant for the terrace.

Take care of yourself.

Bye, yours Maria
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS letter A letter to your friend traveling overseas. You are staying at their apartment and there was a storm. Tell your friend about the storm. Tell them what was damaged and details what repairs need to be done. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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