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31/10/2017You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter• explain why you want to leave your current job• what kind of job you are looking for• ask for some help or advice v.2

31/10/2017You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter• explain why you want to leave your current job• what kind of job you are looking for• ask for some help or advice v. 2
Dear John, I am writing to ask you for some advice. As you know, a decision has recently been made to leave this working place and to begin looking for another one. The main reason that motivates me is an unhealthy atmosphere at work that is created by new managers who were hired a couple of years ago. In addition, my current employer faced some financial difficulty and he has failed to invest money in purchasing new workstations and other equipment. So, if I continue working here, I am going to have a nervous breakdown. Anyway, a novel workplace must have several pivotal characteristics. Firstly, the job should be connected with my education. So, I am looking for a position of a programmer or a software engineer. Hopefully, ten years of experience will help me to find a decent place. Secondly, an office of a new employer must be situated in my megalopolis or there ought to be a possibility to work distantly from home because my young daughter has some health conditions that do not allow my family to change the place easily. Finally, you have recently changed your employer and it appears the new place is awesome. May you suggest me the best way to find a new job? What sources of information did you use? And also I hope you can ask your manager whether there is another open job position in your company, I would be glad to work in your firm. I am waiting for your prompt response. Sincerely yours. Eugene Dubinchuk
Dear John,

I am writing to ask you for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice.

As you know, a decision has recently
been made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
this working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
looking for another one. The main reason that motivates me is an unhealthy atmosphere at work that
is created
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
managers who
were hired
a couple of years ago.
In addition
, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
employer faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
difficulty and
he has failed to invest money in purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
workstations and other equipment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if I continue working here, I am going to have a nervous breakdown.

Anyway, a novel workplace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have several pivotal characteristics.
Firstly
, the job should
be connected
with my education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I am looking for a position of a programmer or a software engineer.
Hopefully
, ten years of experience will
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help me find"?
help me to find
a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Secondly
, an office of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
employer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be situated
in my megalopolis or there ought to be a possibility to work
distantly
from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my young daughter has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health conditions that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
my family to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
easily
.

Finally
, you have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
your employer and it appears the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is awesome. May you suggest me the best way to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job? What sources of information did you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
? And
also
I hope you can ask your manager whether there is another open job position in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, I would be glad to work in your firm.

I am waiting for your prompt response.

Sincerely
yours.

Eugene
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dubinchuk
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS letter 31/10/2017You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter• explain why you want to leave your current job• what kind of job you are looking for• ask for some help or advice v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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