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09. 10. 2017You have bought a new laptop computer and in a few days of purchase discovered a major flaw. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, Introduce your self. explain the situation. say what action you would like to company to take. v.2

09. 10. 2017You have bought a new laptop computer and in a few days of purchase discovered a major flaw. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, Introduce your self. explain the situation. say what action you would like to company to take. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madame, I am writing to complain about the quality of the computer equipment you are selling in your department store. My name is Eugene Dubinchuk and I work as an accountant in a local drilling company. In fact, I have been a loyal customer of your store for almost ten years by now. Moreover, I have always recommended your place as the best one to buy laptops and other electronic equipment. Many of my friends and even the company in which I work listened to my advice and became your clientele. However, recently, a new laptop was purchased in your store as a gift to my beloved spouse. It was a novel Lenovo workstation with a 4k display in the best configuration available, and almost two thousand dollars has been paid for this personal computer. Unfortunately, when my wife opened the box and tried to use it, the workstation won’t work at all. After a while, I manage to start it but the expensive screen has a lot of dead pixels and has some issues with colors. In addition, the battery does not hold any charge and it is impossible to use the laptop without a charger. I demand the store provides me with an analogous laptop within next seven days. If you cannot satisfy my request, I would like to get a full refund on my credit card within a two-week span. I am waiting for your prompt response. Sincerely yours, Eugene Dubinchuk
Dear Sir or Madame,

I am writing to complain about the quality of the computer equipment you are selling in your department store.

My name is Eugene
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dubinchuk
and I work as an accountant in a local drilling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. In fact, I have been a loyal customer of your store for almost ten years by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Moreover
, I have always recommended your place as the best one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptops
and other electronic equipment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of my friends and even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in which I work listened to my advice and became your clientele.

However
, recently, a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
in your store as a gift to my beloved spouse. It was a novel Lenovo workstation with a 4k display in the best configuration available, and almost two thousand dollars has
been paid
for this personal computer. Unfortunately, when my wife opened the box and tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it, the workstation won’t work at all. After a while, I manage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the expensive screen has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
dead pixels and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues with colors.
In addition
, the battery does not hold any charge and it is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
without a charger.

I demand the store provides me with an analogous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
within
next
seven days. If you cannot satisfy my request, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a full refund on my credit card within a two-week span.

I am waiting for your prompt response.

Sincerely
yours,

Eugene
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dubinchuk
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter 09. 10. 2017You have bought a new laptop computer and in a few days of purchase discovered a major flaw. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, Introduce your self. explain the situation. say what action you would like to company to take. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
246 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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