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You’ve just moved into a new house and found out that your furniture has been damaged by the removal company. Write to the manager of this company and say– Give you details. – Explain what happened and when. – What you think should be done about the v.1

You’ve just moved into a new house and found out that your furniture has been damaged by the removal company. Write to the manager of this company and say– Give you details. – Explain what happened and when. – What you think should be done about the v. 1
There are increasing number of languages disappearing by the year. People believe that this occurrence is not important as their life will become simpler as a result of this phenomenon. I completely disagree with this opinion and this essay will elaborate on the reasons why. Firstly, language serves as a backbone of any culture in a society. If a language were to vanish, the culture and practices will diminish with it as well. Culture is important to any society as it brings about a different flavour to a place and it is essential to preserving the uniqueness and diversity of our civilisation. If these languages were to die out, I believe that the livelihoods of these people will greatly be affected as they will now need to learn a new mother tongue and adapt to a brand new culture. Should such an event happen, various small communities in China and India who speak minority languages will face these difficulties in adjusting to the changes. Secondly, I believe that the complexities of life are not caused by the multitude of languages that exist in the world, but rather, in the gap in communication that arises from other factors such as the lack of respect for one another and inconsideration in one’s daily activities. For instance, we could place two people in a room who respect each other mutually that speak completely different languages, but they would still be able to get along very well. On the other hand, it could also be observed that two people who speak the same language may very well end up in a dispute. To summarize, I believe that life will only become more simplified when mankind shows the resolve to bridge the gap in their everyday communication. Having fewer languages is not part of the problem and will not aid in making our lives easier. On the contrary, it could produce an opposite effect as people may find trouble coping with the changes should this event happen.
There are increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
disappearing by the year.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this occurrence is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as their life will become simpler
as a result
of this phenomenon. I completely disagree with this opinion and this essay will elaborate on the reasons why.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
serves as a backbone of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in a society. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
were to vanish, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and practices will diminish with it
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to any society as it brings about a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
to a place and it is essential to
Did you mean "preserve"?
preserving
the uniqueness and diversity of our
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
. If these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
were to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the livelihoods of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
greatly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
need to learn a new mother tongue and adapt to a
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Should such an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
happen, various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
communities in China and India who speak minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will face these difficulties in adjusting to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

Secondly
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the complexities of life are not caused by the multitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
that exist in the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
, in the gap in communication that arises from other factors such as the lack of respect for one another and inconsideration in one’s daily activities.
For instance
, we could place two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a room who respect each other
mutually
that speak completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they would
still
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
On the other hand
, it could
also
be observed
that two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who speak the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in a dispute.

To summarize
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that life will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
become more simplified when mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the resolve to bridge the gap in their everyday communication. Having fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is not part of the problem and will not aid in making our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier.
On the contrary
, it could produce an opposite effect as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find trouble coping with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
should this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
happen.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You’ve just moved into a new house and found out that your furniture has been damaged by the removal company. Write to the manager of this company and say– Give you details. – Explain what happened and when. – What you think should be done about the v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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