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Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents, and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem. v.1

Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents, and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem. v. 1
There is an ongoing debate on the merits of having a rigid discipline system in place for all crimes committed. This essay will firstly discuss, how having fixed punishments could lead to a more competent judiciary system as the biggest advantage. Secondly, this essay will discuss how this may lead to people being punished in the same way for both minor and major crimes as the primary disadvantage. On the one hand, the main advantage of having a standardised punishment system could lead to a downward trend in crime, as the system would serve as a deterrent. This would allow the courts to easily hand out justice to all criminals, in order to make the judiciary system more powerful. For example, in some states in the USA, there are tough sanctions in place for criminals, including death by lethal injection. In 2014, the New York Times reported that up to 65% of criminals who were incarcerated for high-level crimes (murder, manslaughter) received the lethal injection. On the other hand, the primary disadvantage of having fixed punishments is that people who have committed low-level crimes may also be given harsh sentences, in the same way as those who have been sentenced for high-level crimes. This may make the system unjust, as the punishment should befit the crime. For instance, a person who may have acted in self defence, should have their case heard in full, before being given a punishment befitting of someone who has been part of a violent act. In conclusion, fixed punishment offers an interesting choice for effective crime deterrence and a faster judicial process. However, its inherent flaw in generalising all crime without carefully considering mitigating circumstances would compromise the very essence of justice and should warrant a closer study before fully implementing it to any modern judicial system.
There is an ongoing debate on the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a rigid discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in place for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed. This essay will
firstly
discuss, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
could lead to a more competent judiciary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
as the biggest advantage.
Secondly
, this essay will discuss how this may lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
being punished
in the same way
for both minor and major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as the primary disadvantage.

On the one hand, the main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'standardised' is British English.
standardised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
could lead to a downward trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
would serve as a deterrent. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the courts to
easily
hand out justice to all criminals, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the judiciary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
more powerful.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
states in the USA, there are tough sanctions in place for criminals, including death by lethal injection. In 2014, the New York Times reported that up to 65% of criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were incarcerated
for high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
(murder, manslaughter) received the lethal injection.

On the other hand
, the primary disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have committed low-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
may
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
harsh sentences,
in the same way
as those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
been sentenced
for high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
unjust, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should befit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For instance
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
may have acted in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self defence
, should have their case heard in full,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
befitting of someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has been part of a violent act.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
offers an interesting choice for effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
deterrence and a faster judicial process.
However
, its inherent flaw in
Possible spelling mistake. 'generalising' is British English.
generalising
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
without
carefully
considering mitigating circumstances would compromise the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essence of justice and should warrant a closer study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
fully
implementing it to any modern judicial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents, and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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