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You have recently moved into a new house You want to tell your friend about your good news Write to your friend In the letter Describe the house Describe the neighbourhood Invite your friend to come and see the house You do not need to write any addresses v.1

You have recently moved into a new house You want to tell your friend about your good news Write to your friend In the letter Describe the house Describe the neighbourhood Invite your friend to come and see the house You do not need to write any addresses v. 1
Customs and traditions are a way of living in a particular place. It is agreed that people living in foreign countries ought to adopt the mode of living of their host nation because it makes the visitors blend into the society and also makes them open to learn new ways of life. First of all, a person living in a foreign country is assumed to be from the country when customs are followed. Visitors who do not wish to be identified usually follow the traditions of the place. For instance, most people who visit the middle east dress like them and also women cover their hair so as to blend into the usual way of dressing. Likewise, tea is taken regularly in Finland which is extremely cold. This is mostly done to protect people from harsh weather condition. Therefore, people coming from other places would have to follow suite. Furthermore, people should be open to change. Moving to a foreign nation makes one adapt to various things such as weather, language and music. This, usually differ from place to place. So, living in a particular place comes with learning how these people do things and getting accustomed to their method of life. Finally, learning other peoples culture promotes diversity. To clarify, French is taught in most schools in Africa today. As a result, most people who are not native speakers still value and speak French. Therefore, following cultures of the host country ensures diversity. In conclusion, it is agreed that people who live in foreign nations should abide to the customs and traditions of the host country as they would like to mix up with other people in the country and also accept new methods of living.
Customs and traditions are a way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
ought to adopt the mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
of their host nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the visitors blend into the society and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them open to learn new ways of life.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is assumed
to be from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
when customs
are followed
. Visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not wish to
be identified
usually
follow the traditions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
For instance
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
visit the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
dress like them and
also
women cover their hair
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
blend into the usual way of dressing.
Likewise
, tea
is taken
regularly
in Finland which is
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
. This is
mostly
done to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from harsh weather condition.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow suite.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be open to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Moving to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one adapt to various things such as weather, language and music. This,
usually
differ from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with learning how these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do things and getting accustomed to their method of life.
Finally
, learning other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
culture promotes diversity. To clarify, French
is taught
in most schools in Africa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
As a result
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not native speakers
still
value and speak French.
Therefore
, following cultures of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
ensures diversity.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
nations should abide to the customs and traditions of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as they would like to mix up with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
also
accept new methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have recently moved into a new house You want to tell your friend about your good news Write to your friend In the letter Describe the house Describe the neighbourhood Invite your friend to come and see the house You do not need to write any addresses v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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