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Your teacher assigns a project to you, and you can select the members to work with. 1) choose the members who think and work in similar ways. 2) choose the members who have totally different ideas. Which would you think is more effective to work with? v.1

Your teacher assigns a project to you, and you can select the members to work with. 1) choose the members who think and work in similar ways. 2) choose the members who have totally different ideas. Which would you think is more effective to work with? v. 1
Economic development is, for most governments, the greatest goal of all. Other people believe that progress on health and education are as important. In this essay I will discuss both views and explain why economic, health and education progress are equally essential for every country. On the one hand, for many, economic progress seems the most important goal because it is how countries´ development is measured. For example, the difference between first world and third world countries is essentially the money produced by them. Another reason is that money makes people happier, less stressed and consequently, less mad at politicians. For instance, wealthy people do not complain about anything as they are satisfied with the life they carry. On the other hand, some think that health is an important determinant of a country´s development. If people are ill, taking daily medicine and requiring special care, the quality of life is noticeably reduced. India, in like manner, has less quality of life than Argentina because of the larger amount of preventable diseases they suffer such as diarrhoea. Another important type of progress is in education. The proportion of professionals in a country is thought to be an essential measure of its quality. For instance, places where best universities are located are known for their excellence and the quality workers it produces. In conclusion, while some politicians consider that economic progress in their country is the most important goal, in my opinion, development in health and in education is just as important because adequate quality of life is ensured not only by money, but also by good sanitary measures and learning institutions. Therefore, this should always be taken into account when deciding on what measures to apply.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is, for most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, the greatest goal of all. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. In this essay I will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are
equally
essential for every country.

On the one hand, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
seems the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
goal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries´
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is measured
.
For example
, the difference between
first
world and third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
essentially
the money produced by them. Another reason is that money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happier, less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and
consequently
, less mad at politicians.
For instance
, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not complain about anything as they
are satisfied
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they carry.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
determinant of a
The character between 'country' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "country’s" (curly apostrophe) or "country's" (straight apostrophe).
country´s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ill, taking daily medicine and requiring special care, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
noticeably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. India, in like manner, has less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than Argentina
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the larger amount of preventable diseases they suffer such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'diarrhoea' is British English.
diarrhoea
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The proportion of professionals in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be an essential measure of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
.
For instance
, places
A determiner is probably missing here: "where the best".
where best
universities
are located
are known
for their excellence and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
workers it produces.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
goal, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is ensured
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sanitary measures and learning institutions.
Therefore
, this should always
be taken
into account when deciding on what measures to apply.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Your teacher assigns a project to you, and you can select the members to work with. 1) choose the members who think and work in similar ways. 2) choose the members who have totally different ideas. Which would you think is more effective to work with? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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