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TPO 02 - Question 4Social InteractionPeople deal with each other every day. This interaction is at the heart of social life. The study of social interaction is concerned with the influence people have over one another’s behavior. People take each other v.1

TPO 02 - Question 4Social InteractionPeople deal with each other every day. This interaction is at the heart of social life. The study of social interaction is concerned with the influence people have over one another’s behavior. People take each other v. 1
Some critics consider that criminals should imprison to the jail, whereas there are many other beneficial approaches, which can be instead of handling them. In my opinion, I believe offenders can have positive contributions to society if they are not only puts behind bars. When it comes to prison, many taxpayers argue that paying the bills for criminal's accommodation is an illogical thing as offenders commit heinous crimes, but still receive benefits from society. Therefore, criminals should be forced to take part in doing community service in order to make a balance with taxpayers. Doing so, simultaneously, can also make up society's needs, such as lack of labourers to work unskilled jobs. There is no doubt that it is a cost effective punishment and a cheaper alternative to prison. For some offenders who have been sentenced to long term in prison, they could fact difficulties to be employed again after released. This is because they have crime records, which are not accepted by society. However, doing community service can give them a new chance to reform, change their impression on society and also prevent them breaking a law again on the condition that they are willing to change their mindsets. What is more, if ex-convicts continue to utilize their personal skills during their sentence, it will help them to be employable. As a result, prison is not the only method to retribution offenders. In conclusion, although some supporters of the prison believe that it is an optimistic way to sentence criminals, I agree with others that being effective to use ex-convict's skills to do community service is the best option for the public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
critics consider that criminals should imprison to the jail, whereas there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other beneficial approaches, which can be
instead
of handling them. In my opinion, I believe offenders can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
contributions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
if they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
puts behind bars.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
taxpayers argue that paying the bills for criminal's accommodation is an illogical thing as offenders commit heinous crimes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
receive benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Therefore
, criminals should
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in doing community service in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a balance with taxpayers. Doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
simultaneously
, can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up society's needs, such as lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
to work unskilled jobs. There is no doubt that it is a cost effective punishment and a cheaper alternative to prison.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offenders who have
been sentenced
to long term in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, they
The word 'fact' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
could fact
difficulties to
be employed
again after released. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have crime records, which are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
, doing community service can give them a new chance to reform,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their impression on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them breaking a law again on the condition that they are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mindsets.
What is more
, if ex-convicts continue to utilize their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
during their sentence, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be employable.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
method to retribution offenders.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supporters of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
believe that it is an optimistic way to sentence criminals, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with others that being effective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
ex-convict's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to do community service is the best option for the public.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay TPO 02 - Question 4Social InteractionPeople deal with each other every day. This interaction is at the heart of social life. The study of social interaction is concerned with the influence people have over one another’s behavior. People take each other v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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