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Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.5

Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. v. 5
JUVENILES ARE DELICATE AND THUS WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BREEDING PROCESS SERIOUSLY. THERE ARE CERTAIN FOLKS WHO ARGUE THAT THE GROUP SPORTS ARE THE BEST FOR JUVENILES. WHEREAS, REST OF THE FOLKS HAVE AN OBJECTION ON THIS AND SAY THAT PLYAING SOLO SPORTS MAKE AN OFFSPRING A BETTER PERSON. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE SEVERAL REASON OF WHY CERTAIN PEOPLE SUPPORT THE GROUP SPORTS AND WHY OTHERS HAVE AN OBJECTION TO IT. LASTLY, STATE THE OPINION INN THW FAVOR OF BOTH VIEWS. ON THE ONE SIDE, THE MAJOR REASON IS TO SUPPORT THE GROUP ACTIVITIES FOR JUVENILES IS THAT IT WILL MAKE THEM LEARN HOW TO COMPROMISE AND SUPPORT EACHOTHERS IN THE DIFFICULT SITUATION. AS A RESULT, THEY WOULD GET A HUGE SUCCESS IN THEIR PROFESSIONAL LIFE AS GOOD EMPLOYEE. BECAUSE, THE EXCCELLENCY IN THE TEAM WORK IS THE BEST QUALITY OF THE BEST WORKER. FOR EXAMPLE, ACCORDING TO THE INDIAN CHILD CARE DEPARTMENT REPORT, 70% OF THE INDIAN YOUTH ARE PROVVED TO BE GOOD WORKER CONSEQUNETLY, THEY HAVE THE EXPERIENCE OF WORKING WELL IN TEAM. ON THE OTHER HAND, INDIVIDUAL SPROTS TEACH OFFSPRING HOW TO BE AN INDEPENDENT AND A STRONG PERSON. WHEN THEY PLAY A SOLO GAME THEIR MIND IS MORE ACTIVATE IN COMPARED TO GROUP WORK. THIS WILL MAKE HIM TO USE HIS OWN CRITICAL THINKING POWER TAKE THE RIGHT DECISION AND AS IT IS HIS SOLITARY HARD WORK, HE WOULSD BE HAPPY AND INSPIRED TO DO TRY VARIOUS ADVENTURES FURTHER IN LIFE. FOR INSTANCE, THE NEUROLOGY DEPARTMENT OF THE UK STUDY SHOWN THAT THE ADOLESCENSE WHO PLAYS A SINGLE GAME, HAVE THE 80% INTELLEGENCE THAN WHO PLAY TEAM GAME. FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, I BELIEVE THAT WHATEVER THE SPORTS ARE. IT WOULD BE ADVANTAGEOUS TO PLAY AS BOTH TEACH AN ESSENTIAL TIPS TO AN OFFSPRING OF HOW TO SURVIVE IN THIS FAST PACE WORLD AS SUCCESFULL PERSON. IN CONCLUSION, GROUP AND SOLO GAMES INDEED PROVIDE A KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE OF A PLETHORA OF THING TO THE KIDS THAT THEY COULD USE THEM IN THEIR FIRTHER LIFE TO GET THE VICTORY. HOWEVER, THIS WOULD ONLY BE POSSIBLE WITH THE SUPPORT OF PARENTS AND THEOR MENTOR WHO ARE THE MOST VALUABLE PEOPLE IN KIDS LIVELIHOOD.
JUVENILES ARE DELICATE AND
THUS
WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BREEDING PROCESS
SERIOUSLY
. THERE ARE CERTAIN FOLKS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WHO
ARGUE THAT THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GROUP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPORTS
ARE THE BEST FOR JUVENILES. WHEREAS, REST OF THE FOLKS HAVE AN OBJECTION ON THIS AND SAY THAT
Possible spelling mistake found.
PLYAING
SOLO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPORTS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
AN OFFSPRING A BETTER PERSON.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE SEVERAL REASON OF WHY CERTAIN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUPPORT
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GROUP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPORTS
AND WHY OTHERS HAVE AN OBJECTION TO IT.
LASTLY
, STATE THE OPINION INN
Possible spelling mistake found.
THW
FAVOR OF BOTH VIEWS.

ON THE ONE SIDE, THE MAJOR REASON IS TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUPPORT
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GROUP
ACTIVITIES FOR JUVENILES IS THAT IT WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
THEM LEARN HOW TO COMPROMISE AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUPPORT
Possible spelling mistake found.
EACHOTHERS
IN THE DIFFICULT SITUATION.
AS A RESULT
, THEY WOULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
A HUGE SUCCESS IN THEIR PROFESSIONAL LIFE AS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
EMPLOYEE.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
, THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
EXCCELLENCY
IN THE TEAM WORK IS THE BEST QUALITY OF THE BEST WORKER.
FOR EXAMPLE
, ACCORDING TO THE INDIAN CHILD CARE DEPARTMENT REPORT, 70% OF THE INDIAN YOUTH ARE
Possible spelling mistake found.
PROVVED
TO BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
WORKER
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONSEQUNETLY
, THEY HAVE THE EXPERIENCE OF WORKING WELL IN TEAM.

ON THE OTHER HAND
, INDIVIDUAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
SPROTS
TEACH OFFSPRING HOW TO BE AN INDEPENDENT AND A STRONG PERSON. WHEN THEY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PLAY
A SOLO GAME THEIR MIND IS MORE ACTIVATE IN COMPARED TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GROUP
WORK. THIS WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
HIM TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
HIS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
CRITICAL THINKING POWER TAKE THE RIGHT DECISION AND AS IT IS HIS SOLITARY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HARD
WORK, HE
Possible spelling mistake found.
WOULSD
BE HAPPY AND INSPIRED TO DO TRY VARIOUS ADVENTURES
FURTHER
IN LIFE.
FOR INSTANCE
, THE NEUROLOGY DEPARTMENT OF THE UK STUDY SHOWN THAT THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADOLESCENSE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WHO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PLAYS
A SINGLE GAME, HAVE THE 80%
Possible spelling mistake found.
INTELLEGENCE
THAN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WHO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PLAY
TEAM GAME.

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, I BELIEVE THAT WHATEVER THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPORTS
ARE. IT WOULD BE ADVANTAGEOUS TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PLAY
AS BOTH TEACH AN ESSENTIAL TIPS TO AN OFFSPRING OF HOW TO SURVIVE IN THIS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAST
PACE WORLD AS
Possible spelling mistake found.
SUCCESFULL
PERSON.

IN CONCLUSION
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GROUP
AND SOLO GAMES
INDEED
PROVIDE A KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE OF A PLETHORA OF THING TO THE KIDS THAT THEY COULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
THEM IN THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
FIRTHER
LIFE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
THE VICTORY.
HOWEVER
, THIS WOULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
BE POSSIBLE WITH THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUPPORT
OF PARENTS AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
THEOR
MENTOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WHO
ARE THE MOST VALUABLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
IN KIDS LIVELIHOOD.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
372 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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