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Name a teacher who has influenced you and explain why that teacher was important. include details and examples to support explanation. v.1

Name a teacher who has influenced you and explain why that teacher was important. include details and examples to support explanation. v. 1
Over the last few decades, the rapid inclination in the offence has been recorded. There is often a dichotomy in opinion, on whether, having more copper in the street will help the reduction in the crime or not. In my view, in spite of increasing the policemen, the other measure should also be taken which can help in controlling the act of violence. To begin with, rather than mobilizing extra police force on the avenue, the technology could be used to prevent the crime. To put in another way, if high technology CCTV cameras install on the road which can be monitored in the control room, it will eventually help the law enforcement agency to track down the offender easily. The most compelling evidence of this technology can be witnessed through the robbery of the diamonds at the United Kingdom. Although, the thieves were successful in robbing the diamond, they had been caught by the copper in the same day. Police had got the help from the CCTV cameras installed near the crime scene which trailed them to the robber’s hidden place. Furthermore, in the past the lawmaker found it difficult to track the offender. The reason behind it was due to late information to the police due to the lack in the advance communication system at that time. After the innovation of new technologies, the first information report can be filed online within a few seconds or the police can be informed much earlier through help line. For instance, the Pakistani police force has opened an online portal which can be accessible to every citizen of the country. Through, which the complaint can be registered online and the police start the investigation within the few second after the complaint has filed. To summarize, to prevent the crime in the society, the government should adopt the new modern innovated technology. This will not only help in the reduction in the crime, but it will also help the law agencies to track the serious offenders.
Over the last few decades, the rapid inclination in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
has
been recorded
. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a dichotomy in opinion, on whether, having more copper in the street will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
or not. In my view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
increasing the policemen, the other measure should
also
be taken
which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in controlling the act of violence.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
rather
than mobilizing extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
force on the avenue, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. To put in another way, if high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
CCTV cameras install on the road which can
be monitored
in the control room, it will
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the law enforcement agency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
down the offender
easily
. The most compelling evidence of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
be witnessed
through the robbery of the diamonds at the United Kingdom. Although, the thieves were successful in robbing the diamond, they had
been caught
by the copper in the same day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Police
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from the CCTV cameras installed near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
scene which trailed them to the robber’s hidden place.

Furthermore
, in the past the lawmaker found it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
the offender. The reason behind it was due to late information to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
due to the lack in the advance communication system at that time. After the innovation of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, the
first
information report can
be filed
online within a few seconds or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
can
be informed
much earlier through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
line.
For instance
, the Pakistani
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
force has opened an online portal which can be accessible to every citizen of the country. Through, which the complaint can
be registered
online and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the investigation within the
Possible agreement error. The noun second seems to be countable; consider using: "few seconds".
few second
after the complaint has filed.

To summarize
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the society, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should adopt the new modern innovated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in the reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the law agencies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
the serious offenders.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Name a teacher who has influenced you and explain why that teacher was important. include details and examples to support explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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