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Your school want to improve the quality of students' life in the dormitory. Which one of the following do you think the school should build in dorms? 1. Quiet study area 2. exercise room for students to keep physical well-being3. room for entertainment v.1

Your school want to improve the quality of students' life in the dormitory. Which one of the following do you think the school should build in dorms? 1. Quiet study area 2. exercise room for students to keep physical well-being3. room for entertainment v. 1
People seem to be either excited or worried about the future impact of artificial intelligence. Personally, I can understand why people think about it in two different ways, and I am both fascinated by developments in artificial intelligence and also concerned about its possible negative effects. On the one hand, the improvements in artificial intelligence come with some huge benefits that no one can ignore. Now, machines are able to do many tasks better than people do, especially in the areas that high level of mathematical intelligence and operational skills are needed. Some robots now are able to make smallest calculations, predict any scenario that can happen and do practice with minimum mistake. For example, they can help surgeons during some critical operations and prevent some human-based mistakes. There are now semi-autonomous cars thanks to artificial intelligence, which are able to drive on its own, and artificial intelligence that is used in these cars reduces risks that can come out of human mistakes during driving. These are only two examples, and it is no hard to imagine how artificial intelligence will make our lives easier in many other aspects of life. On the other hand, I also share the concerns of people who believe that some harms can come from artificial intelligence. In the short term, because of the fact that some robots are able to do some tasks that are done by labour without the demands of salary and off-days, and it leads employers to have robots rather than hiring employees. Eventually, it causes unemployment, especially among unskilled labour, and this unemployment can cause many problems in both individuals and societies. Moreover, from a broad perspective, people can start feeling meaningless when artificial intelligence reaches at a point in which there will be no need for humans. In summary, while artificial intelligence will no doubt keep on improving our lives, there are some reasonable concerns about it, which should not be ignored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
seem to be either excited or worried about the future impact of artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
.
Personally
, I can understand why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways, and I am both fascinated by developments in artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
and
also
concerned about its possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

On the one hand, the improvements in artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
huge benefits that no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, machines are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do,
especially
in the areas that high level of mathematical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
and operational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are needed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
robots
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
A determiner is probably missing here: "the smallest".
smallest
calculations, predict any scenario that can happen and do practice with minimum mistake.
For example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
surgeons during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critical operations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
human-based mistakes. There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
semi-autonomous cars thanks to artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to drive on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, and artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in these cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of human mistakes during driving. These are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two examples, and it is
Did you mean "not" or "now"?
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to imagine how artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other aspects of life.

On the other hand
, I
also
share the concerns of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harms can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
. In the short term,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
robots are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tasks that
are done
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
without the demands of salary and off-days, and it leads employers to have robots
rather
than hiring employees.
Eventually
, it causes unemployment,
especially
among unskilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
, and this unemployment can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in both individuals and societies.
Moreover
, from a broad perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
feeling meaningless when artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
reaches at a point in which there will be no need for humans.

In summary, while artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
will no doubt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on improving our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable concerns about it, which should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Your school want to improve the quality of students' life in the dormitory. Which one of the following do you think the school should build in dorms? 1. Quiet study area 2. exercise room for students to keep physical well-being3. room for entertainment v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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