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You school want to improve the quality of students’ life in the dormitory. Which one of the following do you think the school should build in dorms? 1. Quiet study area 2. exercise room for students to keep physical well-being 3. room v.1

You school want to improve the quality of students’ life in the dormitory. Which one of the following do you think the school should build in dorms? 1. Quiet study area 2. exercise room for students to keep physical well-being 3. room v. 1
At the turn of the new century, with the development of human' s modern society, there is no doubt that education has a pivotal role in blooming and thriving a society. Actually, some students leave their hometown and go to other cities or even abroad to chase their academic objectives. Most of these students tend to live in dormitory during their studies. Although some students adhere to this belife that university should improve dormitories' facilities by building a quiet study area or a exercies room for students, in my vantage point, buliding a room for entertainment can be highly beneficial since it makes students more lively, and also they can fortify their social skills. The first aspect to point out is that what provokes university to build an entertainment room is making students more energetic. As a matter of fact, students need to take a break from their hectic life and unwind by have sheer hours of happiness. It is axiomatic that university can make students delighted by providing wide variety of enjoynments. In this way, not only can students shed their tension, but also they can refresh their minds. Take a case of a despondent student who is overwhelmed by stress in exam' s night and he needs refreshment for instance, so he can relieve his stress by playing computer games or watching his favorite movies; Hence, an entertainment room can bolster students' morale. The further subtle point is that strengthening social skills can be considered another advantage of building an entertaiment room. It is absolutely undeniable that students need to enhance their social skills such as talking in public and self-confidence to make progress in their acadeic lives. Undobtedly, in an entertainment room students can get familiar with diffrent students who have divers viewpoints and attitudes toward lives. Also, they can spend time with each other, share their ideas, enrich their knowledge and enrich their horizons. Im my own experience, when I was student, I feel lack of confidence and I had introverted personality; However after I got familier with a student in the entertainment room, she helped me to raise my self-confidence. Consequently, I can start up a conversation with a stranger while I feel confident. On the whole, according to the above-mentioned details and points, it is crystal clear that building an entertainment room is useful because it makes students more energetic as well as fortifing their social skills. It is high time overlooking the fact that students just should study hard in the period of university in order to have promising future. Have you ever seen a prosper person without enough hours of happiness? Can you consider a person successful without enough self-confidence? I absolutely believe no!
At the turn of the new century, with the development of
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s modern society, there is no doubt that education has a pivotal role in blooming and thriving a society. Actually,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their hometown and go to other cities or even abroad to chase their academic objectives. Most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in dormitory during their studies. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
adhere to this
Possible spelling mistake found.
belife
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
dormitories&
#039; facilities by building a quiet study area or
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
exercies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, in my vantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
buliding
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for entertainment can be
highly
beneficial since it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more lively, and
also
they can fortify their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

The
first
aspect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
out is that what provokes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to build an entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more energetic. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to take a break from their hectic life and unwind by have sheer hours of happiness. It is axiomatic that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
delighted by providing wide variety of
Possible spelling mistake found.
enjoynments
. In this way, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
shed their tension,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can refresh their minds. Take a case of a despondent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who
is overwhelmed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
exam&
#039; s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
night and
he needs refreshment
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he can relieve his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
by playing computer games or watching his favorite movies;
Hence
, an entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
can bolster
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; morale.

The
further
subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
is that strengthening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can
be considered
another advantage of building an
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertaiment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
. It is
absolutely
undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as talking in public and self-confidence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
progress in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
acadeic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Undobtedly
, in an entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have divers viewpoints and attitudes toward
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Also
, they can spend time with each other, share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, enrich their knowledge and enrich their horizons.
Possible spelling mistake found
Im
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, when I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, I feel lack of confidence and I had introverted personality;
However
after I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Possible spelling mistake found.
familier
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to raise my self-confidence.
Consequently
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up a conversation with a stranger while I feel confident.

On the whole
, according to the above-mentioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that building an entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more energetic
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
fortifing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It is high time overlooking the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
should study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in the period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in order to have promising future. Have you ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'prosper' is correct. If 'prosper' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a prosper
person without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
hours of happiness? Can you consider a person successful without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
self-confidence? I
absolutely
believe no!
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay You school want to improve the quality of students’ life in the dormitory. Which one of the following do you think the school should build in dorms? 1. Quiet study area 2. exercise room for students to keep physical well-being 3. room v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
452 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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