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Your friend wants a suggestion for an interesting book to read. What book would you recommend and why? v.1

Your friend wants a suggestion for an interesting book to read. What book would you recommend and why? v. 1
Nowadays, many believe that it would be better for our environment and economy if people give priority to eating locally grown foods over using foods that are travelled thousands of miles. This essay discusses both benefits and drawbacks and presents my own position. As regards the pros, locally grown foods brings many benefits to the environment and the economy. Firstly, it can mitigate an adverse impact on our environment. This is because imported foods that are transported through various means of transport such as trains or ships can contribute not only to enhancing the food price but to increasing pollution from exhausted fumes. In contrast, using more local food reduces significantly the carbon footprint and eliminates the transportation expenses. Furthermore, it also provides more job opportunities for local people in producing on farms and selling to customers. As a result, by doing so, this can boost the local economic growth as well as lessen our impact on the environment. In terms of cons, if one only ate domestic food, they would not be able to enjoy the wide range of fruits and vegetables from all around the globe. Whereas, humans can access to more choices in food markets thanks to importing food. To begin with, many countries are impossible for growing fruits which are only having in certain regions due to geographical and climatic reasons. Take durian as an example, it is only grown in tropical countries such as Vietnam or Thailand. Moreover, in the ever-growing world, the more foods will be produced to meet basic needs, locally produced food does not always reach those in need. Therefore, transporting food is the most viable option to cater to the needs of humankind. In conclusion, eating locally produced food brings both benefits and drawbacks; however, enough food to feed everyone is the key factor due to it can harm the environment. Thus, I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that it would be better for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and economy if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give priority to eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
over using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that
are travelled
thousands of miles. This essay discusses both benefits and drawbacks and presents my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
position.

As regards the pros,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the economy.
Firstly
, it can mitigate an adverse impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that
are transported
through various means of transport such as trains or ships can contribute not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to increasing pollution from exhausted fumes.
In contrast
, using more local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
significantly
the carbon footprint and eliminates the transportation expenses.
Furthermore
, it
also
provides more job opportunities for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in producing on farms and selling to customers.
As a result
, by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, this can boost the local economic growth
as well
as lessen our impact on the environment.

In terms of cons, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
ate domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, they would not be able to enjoy the wide range of fruits and vegetables from all around the globe.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, humans can access to more choices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
markets thanks to importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are impossible for growing fruits which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
having in certain regions due to geographical and climatic reasons. Take
Possible spelling mistake found.
durian
as an example, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
grown in tropical countries such as Vietnam or Thailand.
Moreover
, in the ever-growing world, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
will
be produced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
basic needs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
does not always reach those in need.

Therefore
, transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the most viable option to cater to the needs of humankind.

In conclusion
, eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
brings both benefits and drawbacks;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to feed everyone is the key factor due to it can harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Thus
, I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Your friend wants a suggestion for an interesting book to read. What book would you recommend and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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