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You want to learn a foreign language for work purposes from a teacher in your locality Write a letter to him her and say Explain the reason for learning How will it help with your work Ask a few details about the course How did you hear about him her v.1

You want to learn a foreign language for work purposes from a teacher in your locality Write a letter to him her and say Explain the reason for learning How will it help with your work Ask a few details about the course How did you hear about him her v. 1
Teenagers living in some areas of the US are not allowed to go out in the nights as the curfew is being imposed. But they are allowed to go accompanied by their parents. This is to safeguard the young people from detrimental activities. To begin with, starting this week, there is an increasing number of gun firings against the international students and professionals who are working in the US. It is reported that, local students, especially teenagers, are mostly involved in these activities. Hence, to control this kind of actions, US police has decided to impose curfew in a few areas. This will make the international people feel safe and they can comply with the ethics and regulations of US council. It has also been conveyed that, mobs are not allowed to stand or discuss after the evenings. However, in addition to implement a curfew, police should catch the criminal gangs who are involved in the unethical acts and punish them according to the rules. There are some situations where a non-guilty individual can be arrested, since they appeared in the mob during the action. Hence, in these consequences, it is suggested to stay back at home till the situation is controlled. If there is any emergency, teenagers can be better accompanied by their father, mother or relatives at home. Lastly, imposing an emergency sometimes makes the public panic, most of the times it is suggested to avoid. Instead, we can take a preliminary action of arresting the individuals who have a criminal history. In addition to that, educating the teenagers on laws and regulations of US council and make them to understand about the international student and employee policies is also helpful. To conclude it, to control the riots, implementing a cut off time is a possible and useful step. But parents should aware of the children's activities and safeguard them when they go out in the nights.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of the US are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out in the nights as the curfew is
being imposed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go accompanied by their parents. This is to safeguard the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from detrimental activities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, starting this week, there is an increasing number of gun firings against the international students and professionals who are working in the US. It
is reported
that, local students,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
, are
mostly
involved in these activities.
Hence
, to control this kind of actions, US police has decided to impose curfew in a few areas. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
safe and
they can comply with the ethics and regulations of US council. It has
also
been conveyed
that, mobs are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to stand or discuss after the evenings.

However
,
in addition
to implement a curfew, police should catch the criminal gangs who
are involved
in the unethical acts and punish them according to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations where a non-guilty individual can
be arrested
, since they appeared in the mob during the action.
Hence
, in these consequences, it
is suggested
to stay back at home till the situation
is controlled
. If there is any emergency,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can be better accompanied by their father, mother or relatives at home.

Lastly
, imposing an emergency
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the public panic,
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
it
is suggested
to avoid.
Instead
, we can take a preliminary action of arresting the individuals who have a criminal history.
In addition
to that, educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
on laws and regulations of US council and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to understand about the international student and employee policies is
also
helpful.

To conclude
it, to control the riots, implementing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off time is a possible and useful step.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
parents should aware of the children's activities and safeguard them when they go out in the nights.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You want to learn a foreign language for work purposes from a teacher in your locality Write a letter to him her and say Explain the reason for learning How will it help with your work Ask a few details about the course How did you hear about him her v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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