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Your friend moved to a new house you want to send him a gift write a letter to your friend. In your letter you should tellWhat you will send him as giftWhy you choose this as a giftHow you will send it to him v.1

Your friend moved to a new house you want to send him a gift write a letter to your friend. In your letter you should tellWhat you will send him as giftWhy you choose this as a giftHow you will send it to him v. 1
Home is the first school and mother will be the first teacher for the majority of individuals. Parents are struggling to choose the best seminary for their child amidst of gobs of institutions. Some believe that getting admitted to famous academy is half done, where they will learn more than that they will learn at home. Personally, I think a juvenile has a lot to learn, in aspect of moral values and education worth, from both the places. To begin with, one of the most common questions homeschool graduates and homeschooled children face is that of socialization. For instance, an article published by Stetson University indicates that, the instilling parents expect their kids to respect and get along with people of diverse backgrounds, provide their lad with a variety of social opportunities outside the family. Moreover, self-educated youngsters are not subjected to the peer pressure, violence, drugs, and other negative influences that are all too common in today's institutes. Self- teaching, once considered a fringe movement, is now widely seen as “an acceptable alternative to conventional schooling”. On the other hand, despite this popular acceptance, self-taught remains controversial. First of all, parents know their children well, they know their needs and capacity, thus there will be some influence of parents in every exercise which a child practice. Furthermore, in universities, they are getting exposed to an entirely different or a new atmosphere filled with almost unknown people of diversified backgrounds. They will get opportunities to explore themselves. However, there are many limitations in the home-schooling such as interaction with same aged of different culture. Face-to-face interactions can increase the self-esteem, which can be acquired from going to academies. To conclude, homeschooled youths may be more likely to act unselfishly than those who are attending traditional schools. It is purely the choice of caretaker, whether they should or shouldn’t send their offsprings to school depending on their ability to teach and take care of descendants. In my point of view, the child has to be sent to academy despite the fact that he is learning at home.
Home is the
first
school and mother will be the
first
teacher for the majority of individuals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are struggling to choose the best seminary for their child amidst of gobs of institutions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that getting admitted to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
academy is half done, where they will learn more than that they will learn at home.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a juvenile has a lot to learn, in aspect of moral values and education worth, from both the places.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the most common questions homeschool graduates and homeschooled children face is that of socialization.
For instance
, an article published by Stetson University indicates that, the instilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their kids to respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of diverse backgrounds, provide their lad with a variety of social opportunities outside the family.
Moreover
, self-educated youngsters are not subjected to the peer pressure, violence, drugs, and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences that are all too common in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's institutes. Self- teaching, once considered a fringe movement, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as “an acceptable alternative to conventional schooling”.

On the other hand
, despite this popular acceptance, self-taught remains controversial.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know their children well, they know their needs and capacity,
thus
there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in every exercise which a child
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "practices".
practice
.
Furthermore
, in universities, they are getting exposed to an
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
or a new atmosphere filled with almost unknown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of diversified backgrounds. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunities to explore themselves.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
limitations in the home-schooling such as interaction with same aged of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture. Face-to-face interactions can increase the self-esteem, which can
be acquired
from going to academies.

To conclude
, homeschooled youths may be more likely to act
unselfishly
than those who are attending traditional schools. It is
purely
the choice of caretaker, whether they should or shouldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to school depending on their ability to teach and take care of descendants. In my point of view, the child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to academy despite the fact that he is learning at home.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Your friend moved to a new house you want to send him a gift write a letter to your friend. In your letter you should tellWhat you will send him as giftWhy you choose this as a giftHow you will send it to him v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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