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Your friend has just moved to a new house, you want to send him a gift. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should tell: •what you will send to him as gift•why you chose it as gift•how you will send it to him. v.1

Your friend has just moved to a new house, you want to send him a gift. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should tell: •what you will send to him as gift•why you chose it as gift•how you will send it to him. v. 1
Some people think parenting a child with the help of family members that are uncle, aunt and grandparents are better for a juvenile personal development, while others disagree. In the essay, we will see the pros and cons of upbringing a youngster with the help of extended family members instead of biological parents. To begin with, the juvenile will get love and affection from everyone in the family. If the parents are not willing to fulfil the youth's wishes, it can be done by other family members if it is not. The juvenile will be more socialized and a caring person for a community. Moreover, the juvenile can get help in terms of studies or finances whenever needed. For instance, if the parents are working, other family members can take care of the youngster and help him to complete his daily needs Secondly, the disadvantages of being with other family members are, if the youngster makes mistakes, the family member might try to hide if from the biological parents and this will encourage him to repeat that mistake. The bonding between the juvenile and parents will be fragile. Moreover, the connection between the parents and the kid will not be the same. If there is a conflict between the parents and the other family member, then a juvenile has to face the consequences. To conclude, even though the disadvantages are more than an advantage, However, I feel if everyone in the family members gives him proper guidance, they can grow up as a mature and understanding person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
parenting a child with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
that are uncle, aunt and grandparents are better for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
personal development, while others disagree. In the essay, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the pros and cons of upbringing a youngster with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
instead
of biological parents.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection from everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not willing to fulfil the youth's wishes, it can
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
if it is not.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
will be more socialized and a caring person for a community.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in terms of studies or finances whenever needed.

For instance
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
can take care of the youngster and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him to complete his daily needs

Secondly
, the disadvantages of being with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are, if the youngster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
mistakes, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
might try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
if from the biological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and this will encourage him to repeat that mistake. The bonding between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will be fragile.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the kid will not be the same. If there is a conflict between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
, then a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face the consequences.

To conclude
,
even though
the disadvantages are more than an advantage,
However
, I feel if everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
gives him proper guidance, they can grow up as a mature and understanding person.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Your friend has just moved to a new house, you want to send him a gift. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should tell: •what you will send to him as gift•why you chose it as gift•how you will send it to him. v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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