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checkingTB. A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment? v.1

checkingTB. A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment? v. 1
The increasing pressure facing today’s teenagers has been a significant feature of modern society. While some people argue that they should concentrate on the subjects that they have a gift in, others hold that their efforts should be equally allocated to all the subjects. Generally, I tend to agree with the latter one. It is true that teenagers who devote themselves to certain subjects seem to get more chances to achieve better academic performance and career success in the fields they are interested in. However, this is unwise based on the fact that they are less likely to have a clear insight into their career aspiration in an early age, hence resulting in undesirable consequences to their future career development. Compared with teenagers who are restricted in terms of subjects, those who get access to a wide range of subjects are more likely to expand their outlooks and therefore realize their full potential. This is mainly because they tend to have a more objective perspective on what they are really passionate about. Moreover, focusing on all subjects allows for an all-round development of teenagers. For example, teenagers who have an edge in science course can improve their imagination and creativity by practicing art, which is essential to ensure their further achievement in the field of science. Furthermore, teenagers receiving general education are more likely to shape a positive personality and a sound attitude towards life. For instance, having access to psychology course helps them gain mental resilience which gives them an edge in overcoming challenges and coping with adversity. To sum up, more encouragement should be given to the balance of curriculums as it plays vital roles in the personal growth of a teenager.
The increasing pressure facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
has been a significant feature of modern society. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that they should concentrate on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that they have a gift in, others hold that their efforts should be
equally
allocated to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Generally
, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter one.

It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
devote themselves to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more chances to achieve better academic performance and career success in the fields they
are interested
in.
However
, this is unwise based on the fact that they are less likely to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
insight into their career aspiration in an early age,
hence
resulting in undesirable
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
their future career development.

Compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are restricted
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are more likely to expand their outlooks and
therefore
realize their full potential. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to have a more objective perspective on what they are
really
passionate about.
Moreover
, focusing on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
for an all-round development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have an edge in science course can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their imagination and creativity by practicing art, which is essential to ensure their
further
achievement in the field of science.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
receiving general education are more likely to shape a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
personality and a sound attitude towards life.
For instance
, having access to psychology course
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them gain mental resilience which gives them an edge in overcoming challenges and coping with adversity.

To sum up, more encouragement should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the balance of curriculums as it plays vital roles in the personal growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay checkingTB. A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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