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Your character is strongly influenced by the place where you grew up. In what ways can growing up in a city or in the countryside influence one’s character? Please give your view. v.1

Your character is strongly influenced by the place where you grew up. In what ways can growing up in a city or in the countryside influence one’s character? Please give your view. v. 1
It is usually said that the hometown of a person has a great influence on his or her character. Therefore, growing up in a city or in the countryside may help contribute to forming one’s character. Personally, I strongly agree with this idea. Being brought up in urban areas, for example, might make people more sophisticated. Big cities usually include various types of people from different places. As a result, townspeople are commonly exposed with a wide range of perspectives about lifestyles. In other words, they are immersed in a cross cultural society, which provides them a considerable amount of knowledge of other cultures. In the other hand, those who grow up in the countryside are usually more simple. They normally have an uncomplicated life with an unchanged routine. Consequently, rural people commonly feel changes are unnecessary and may even risky. They might prefer things to always be the way they know. Furthermore, they do not frequently interact with so many people. Normally those are just their families, relatives and neighbors, who seem to not have so extraordinary lifestyles than theirs. Therefore, the mindsets of rural people are likely to be limited in only some particular ways. Some other people may argue it is education that is the key factor in developing human character. However, I think this idea may not fully grasp the big picture. Generally, people are mostly influenced by the places where they are raised. In conclusion, I believe that whether a person grows up in urban or rural areas is likely to leave a big mark on his or her character. Therefore, it is extremely important for people to choose where to live since it is highly likely to have great effect on their characters.
It is
usually
said that the hometown of a person has a great influence on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
.
Therefore
, growing up in a city or in the countryside may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
contribute to forming one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
.
Personally
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Being brought
up in urban areas,
for example
, might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more sophisticated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
cities
usually
include various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places.
As a result
, townspeople are
commonly
exposed with a wide range of
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
lifestyles. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they
are immersed
in a cross cultural society, which provides them a considerable amount of knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, those who grow up in the countryside are
usually
more simple. They
normally
have an uncomplicated life with an unchanged routine.
Consequently
, rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commonly
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are unnecessary and may even risky. They might prefer things to always be the way they know.
Furthermore
, they do not
frequently
interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Normally
those are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
their families, relatives and neighbors, who seem to not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
extraordinary lifestyles than theirs.
Therefore
, the mindsets of rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to
be limited
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular ways.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may argue it is education
that is
the key factor in developing human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
may not
fully
grasp the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
mostly
influenced by the places where they
are raised
.

In conclusion
, I believe that whether a person grows up in urban or rural areas is likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
mark on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
.
Therefore
, it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
since it is
highly
likely to have great effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Your character is strongly influenced by the place where you grew up. In what ways can growing up in a city or in the countryside influence one’s character? Please give your view. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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