Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of a nation’s history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress? v.1

Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of a nation’s history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress? v. 1
Today, there is a fact that a number of old buildings are being torn and replaced by new ones. Some people say this is a natural change since they need more and more structures for residential and business areas. However, I believe those constructions that contain history or scenery values should be preserved. Firstly, old buildings might reveal about historical events. Architecture commonly has a strong bond with history, therefore, telling us how life in the past was. Studying about an old construction, the descendants can spot out the characteristics of the time, the customs of their ancestors or find out the origins of their traditions. However, in some ways, visiting an ancient structure may bring a much deeper knowledge of the historical events it presents than words and pictures in books and studies. It is believed that the more knowledgeable about the past the people are, the more advanced the future’s world would become. Moreover, some of the old buildings are seen as featuring spots of an area. There are various cities or countries across the world being famous of its symbolic old buildings. When mentioning Egypt, the first thought comes to many people is that it is the land of the Pyramids. Or, when thinking of Paris, the Eiffel Tower is highly likely to be the most popular icon of the city, and even the country, France. These spots can attract a great amount of foreign people, contributing a big proportion in an area’s tourism development. In conclusion, I think that old buildings should be protected as much as possible if they still play some part in presenting a history time or contribute to the tourism of the area. The others might be knocked down.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, there is a fact that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
being torn
and replaced by new ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say this is a natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
since they need more and more structures for residential and business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
However
, I believe those constructions that contain history or scenery values should
be preserved
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
might reveal about historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Architecture
commonly
has a strong bond with history,
therefore
, telling us how life in the past was. Studying about an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
construction, the descendants can spot out the characteristics of the time, the customs of their ancestors or find out the origins of their traditions.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways, visiting an ancient structure may bring a much deeper knowledge of the historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
it presents than words and pictures in books and studies. It
is believed
that the more knowledgeable about the past the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are, the more advanced the future’s world would become.

Moreover
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as featuring spots of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. There are various cities or countries across the world being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
of its symbolic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. When mentioning Egypt, the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that it is the land of the Pyramids. Or, when thinking of Paris, the Eiffel Tower is
highly
likely to be the most popular icon of the city, and even the country, France. These spots can attract a great amount of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, contributing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
proportion in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area’s
tourism development.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be protected
as much as possible if they
still
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part in presenting a history time or contribute to the tourism of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. The others might
be knocked
down.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of a nation’s history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts