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Nowadays some people choose to live in the city while other chooses to stay in the countryside. What are the the advantages and disadvantages of city living over living in the countryside? v.1

Nowadays some people choose to live in the city while other chooses to stay in the countryside. What are the the advantages and disadvantages of city living over living in the countryside? v. 1
Nowadays, large cities are becoming more and more inhabited. People are increasingly choosing to live in urban areas because of some advantages it has compared with living in the countryside. However, despite of its benefits, it has also drawbacks. In this essay, I shall discuss the pros and cons of living in a large city. One of the benefits of urban living is more job opportunity. Companies, government agencies and factories are mostly situated in the city, and these establishments need employees in their operation. It is often the case that they offer employment to people who are living nearby. For instance, in Manila, the capital of the Philippines, 60 percent of the total national jobs are offered in the city and many individuals searching for job chooses to settle in this bustling concrete jungle. Another benefit of living in an urban area is the better quality of education when compared with the schools in the countryside. Schools have better education facilities such as latest computers and better laboratory equipments. They are also more updated with the latest technology that promotes better learning such as complete laboratory equipment than schools in the countryside. It can be seen that better employment and education can be obtained when living in the city. Although it is true that dwelling in the metropolis has various benefits, there are also disadvantages one of which is air pollution. Air is not clean as in the outskirts because of cars and factories pollutes the air by emitting carbon dioxide. This could cause illnesses like cough and colds among people. Another drawback of urban living is high criminality rate. Robbery, theft and murder are being committed because some individuals are economically challenged. In a recent survey conducted 65 percent of the crimes in Philippines happened in big cities. To conclude, although living in the city possesses benefits such as a job opportunity and better education, it has also its drawbacks like high crime rate and air pollution that is a health hazard. One should take a careful step and must consider these pros and cons before deciding whether to live in city or not.
Nowadays, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are becoming more and more inhabited.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
increasingly
choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages it has compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the countryside.
However
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, it has
also
drawbacks. In this essay, I shall discuss the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a large city.

One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
agencies and factories are
mostly
situated in the city, and these establishments need employees in their operation. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the case that they offer employment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
nearby.
For instance
, in Manila, the capital of the Philippines, 60 percent of the total national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are offered
in the city and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals searching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
chooses to settle in this bustling concrete jungle. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
area is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
when compared with the schools in the countryside. Schools have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities such as latest computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
laboratory equipments. They are
also
more updated with the latest technology that promotes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
learning such as complete laboratory equipment than schools in the countryside. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
employment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
be obtained
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city.

Although it is true that dwelling in the metropolis has various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, there are
also
disadvantages one of which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
is not clean as in the outskirts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of cars and factories pollutes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
by emitting carbon dioxide. This could cause illnesses like cough and colds among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Another drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is high criminality rate. Robbery, theft and murder are
being committed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals are
economically
challenged. In a recent survey conducted 65 percent of the crimes
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Philippines".
in Philippines
happened in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city possesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, it has
also
its drawbacks like high crime rate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution
that is
a health hazard. One should take a careful step and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider these pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in city or not.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays some people choose to live in the city while other chooses to stay in the countryside. What are the the advantages and disadvantages of city living over living in the countryside? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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