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Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same as as adults who commit crimes v.1

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same as as adults who commit crimes v. 1
There is an opinion that young offenders should be held accountable for their actions just as adults. While I find this viewpoint of some people justifiable to some extent, I also argue that treating both young and mature lawbreakers equally may prove to have adverse effects. On the one hand, I can understand why young age should be no deterrent to the way of dealing with criminals. If these juvenile delinquents were easily pardoned in place of receiving strict punishments as adults, they would not become fully aware of the serious consequences of their crimes. Therefore imposing appropriate punishments could prevent them from conducting illegal actions in the future. Besides, young perpetrators usually receive lighter sentences that they deserve, which is apparently an injustice to the victims. In Vietnam, there was a well-known case in which a teenager murdered almost every member of a family deliberately, escaping the death sentence due to being a few months under the responsible age. On the other hand, I am convinced that it is better for juvenile criminals to be tried in a different court from that for adults. Firstly, children are proven not to have sufficient intellectual or moral capacity to understand the outcomes of their misdeeds, so they lack the necessary conditions to be trial defendants as grown-up people. Secondly, when given a second chance, these underage convicts can have an opportunity to successfully rehabilitate and learn a valuable lesson. Thirdly, children can be negatively influenced by some bad role models, which should also be taken into consideration to give them a fair trial. In conclusion, breakers of laws should not be spared of punishments, but I believe young offenders should be dealt with differently from adults.
There is an opinion that
young
offenders should
be held
accountable for their actions
just
as
adults
. While I find this viewpoint of
some
people
justifiable to
some
extent, I
also
argue that treating both
young
and mature lawbreakers
equally
may prove to have adverse effects.

On the one hand, I can understand why
young
age should be no deterrent to the way of dealing with criminals. If these juvenile delinquents were
easily
pardoned in place of receiving strict punishments as
adults
, they would not become
fully
aware of the serious consequences of their crimes.
Therefore
imposing appropriate punishments could
prevent
them from conducting illegal actions in the future.
Besides
,
young
perpetrators
usually
receive lighter sentences that they deserve, which is
apparently
an injustice to the victims. In Vietnam, there was a well-known case in which a
teenager
murdered almost every member of a family
deliberately
, escaping the death sentence due to being a few months under the responsible age.

On the other hand
, I
am convinced
that it is better for juvenile criminals to
be tried
in a
different
court from that for
adults
.
Firstly
, children
are proven
not to have sufficient intellectual or moral capacity to understand the outcomes of their misdeeds,
so
they lack the necessary conditions to be trial defendants as grown-up
people
.
Secondly
, when
given
a second chance, these underage convicts can have an opportunity to
successfully
rehabilitate and learn a valuable lesson.
Thirdly
, children can be
negatively
influenced by
some
bad
role models, which should
also
be taken
into consideration to give them a
fair
trial.

In conclusion
, breakers of laws should not
be spared
of punishments,
but
I believe
young
offenders should
be dealt
with
differently
from
adults
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same as as adults who commit crimes v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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