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The world natural resources are consumed at an ever-increased rate. What are the dangers of this situation? What should we do? v.1

The world natural resources are consumed at an ever-increased rate. What are the dangers of this situation? What should we do? v. 1
The overconsumption of natural resources has evolved as a major topic of concern in recent years. This alarming trend is caused by a few factors, and it must be addressed by a number of definite actions. The increasingly high level of exploitation of natural resources could be ascribed to a number of reasons. The most obvious reason is the tremendous demand for resources in developing countries, such as China and Brazil. The citizens of these countries are becoming increasingly wealthy, and they may now afford a living standard that is associated with a higher level of resource consumption. A clear example of this is the widespread use of cars among tens of millions of middle-income Chinese nationals, which may have contributed substantially to the burning of oil on a global scale. Besides, the over-dependence on natural resources, such as fossil fuels, is another significant reason to consider. In Vietnam, for example, the majority of electricity is generated in thermal power stations, in which a vast amount of coal is the burnt on a daily basis. Some measures can be taken to mitigate the problem of over-consuming Earth’s resources. The most practical measure at the moment is to reduce the demand for resources in developing countries. This can be done by mass-producing energy-efficient products, such as hybrid cars, and selling these items at a low price to citizens of these nations. If such a measure is implemented, these people may still benefit from the modern living standard without over-consuming natural resources. Besides, the most sustainable solution is to lower the reliance on natural resources by taking advantage of alternative sources. For instance, wind and tidal power in the Netherlands, nuclear power in Japan and solar power in the United States have all proven their efficiency in energy production. These forms of energy should be used in other parts of the world as well, to minimise the global dependence on fossil fuels. All the existing data provides a concrete foundation that the overexploitation of natural resources derives from the strong demand in developing countries and the over-reliance on these types of resources. Strong measures, such as reducing the aforementioned demand and making use of alternative energy sources, must be implemented to tackle this situation.
The overconsumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources has evolved as a major topic of concern in recent years. This alarming trend
is caused
by a few factors, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be addressed
by a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
actions.

The
increasingly
high level of exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources could
be ascribed
to a number of reasons. The most obvious reason is the tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for resources in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as China and Brazil.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
citizens of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are becoming
increasingly
wealthy, and they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
afford a living standard that
is associated
with a higher level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
consumption. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of this is the widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cars among tens of millions of middle-income Chinese nationals, which may have contributed
substantially
to the burning of oil on a global scale.
Besides
, the over-dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources, such as fossil fuels, is another significant reason to consider. In Vietnam,
for example
, the majority of electricity
is generated
in thermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
stations, in which a vast amount of coal is the burnt on a daily basis.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
can
be taken
to mitigate the problem of over-consuming Earth’s resources. The most practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
at the moment is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for resources in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This can
be done
by mass-producing energy-efficient products, such as hybrid cars, and selling these items at a low price to citizens of these nations. If such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
is implemented
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
still
benefit from the modern living standard without over-consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
Besides
, the most sustainable solution is to lower the reliance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources by taking advantage of alternative sources.
For instance
, wind and tidal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in the Netherlands, nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in Japan and solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in the United States have all proven their efficiency in energy production. These forms of energy should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in other parts of the world
as well
, to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the global dependence on fossil fuels.

All the existing data provides a concrete foundation that the overexploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources derives from the strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and the over-reliance on these types of resources. Strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
, such as reducing the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
and making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of alternative energy sources,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be implemented
to tackle this situation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The world natural resources are consumed at an ever-increased rate. What are the dangers of this situation? What should we do? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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