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Young people should get advice from older people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Young people should get advice from older people than young ones. v. 1
The younger generation need suggestions in the due course of life. Some people believe that young should take suggestions from the contemporary group; however, I believe that youths should take suggestions from older people. I am of this belief as the suggestions provided by the older group are based on their experiences. The older group also support young people if the younger generation follow the advice suggested by older people. To begin with, generally, older people have experiences of the ups and downs of life, which are obvious. Aged group’s advice is based on these thick and thin through which they have passed. Different events that happen at the stages of life, such as loss of family members, financial struggles, working with people showing various personal traits and so on have matured the older people enough. The recommendations provided by aged people, thus, would be practical. In addition, older people provide support to deal with problems that encounter young. Young people can ask to untangle challenges faced if young people tasks align with the recommendation of seniors. For example, many South Asians starting businesses according to the idea of seniors receive the support whenever they face challenges, whereas those youths who begin works without the guidance of elder people have to deal with obstacles on their own. Therefore, to ease the social, technical, financial hurdles in their work, youths should take advice from the senior advisors. To sum up, older people’s recommendations are based on true events of their lives and they support youths if the advice of seniors is considered. I believe taking suggestions of the aged group is one of the ways to respect their values which helps to thrive an organisation to a higher level.
The younger generation need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggestions
in the due course of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggestions
from the contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
;
however
, I believe that youths should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggestions
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I am of this belief as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggestions
provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
are based
on their experiences. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if the younger generation follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
suggested by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have experiences of the ups and downs of life, which are obvious. Aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
is based
on these thick and thin through which they have passed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that happen at the stages of life, such as loss of family members, financial struggles, working with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
showing various personal traits and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on have matured the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. The recommendations provided by aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
thus
, would be practical.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to deal with problems that encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can ask to untangle challenges faced if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tasks
align with the recommendation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
South Asians starting businesses according to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
whenever they face challenges, whereas those youths who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
works without the guidance of elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with obstacles on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Therefore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the social, technical, financial hurdles in their work, youths should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
advisors.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
recommendations
are based
on true
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
youths if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
is considered
. I believe taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suggestions
of the aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is one of the ways to respect their values which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to thrive an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to a higher level.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people should get advice from older people than young ones. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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