Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is better for young people to get advice from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree? ? v.3

It is better for young people to get advice from old people than young ones. ? v. 3
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that it is good for an adult to acquire better advice by white hair people than jubilant ones. While as per my view, I strongly recommend that an adult must contact to old age people for worst advice. Thus, this essay will briefly emphasise my view in following paragraphs. To commence with, by getting advices from old people through which a teenager gets many ascendancy. First and foremost, white hair peoples have better eyesight rather than younger. They have more life experiences, apart from learning ones. Therefore, they have better ideas, how to tackle some tragedy which creates a huge obstacle in people's life. For example, the country of India where most of the people had been consulted with their parents before taking some decisions which is connected to their life. One more significant, beside this, due to having more experiences, since over 40+ ages people have some valuable strategies, how to handle some difficult problems, every company are recruiting an experienced person than fresher once. So, through them, they will cure problem easily with, out taking some risk. For instance, according to research of Mumbai University, European business private limited had been recruiting 40+ aged people who have more experiences. Consequences, they have not taken any help by other companies. Henceforth to conclude, experience persons have more either experiences or materialistic mind, they are solving problems easily. While, old age laymen have better knowledge regarding life experiences, younger once have not good experienced. I also says that sometimes jubilant can take advice by younger once, because they have new ideas.
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for an adult to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
by white hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than jubilant ones. While as per my view, I
strongly
recommend that an adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
contact to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for worst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
.
Thus
, this essay will
briefly
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
my view in following paragraphs.

To commence with, by getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through which a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
Possible agreement error. The noun ascendancy seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much ascendancy", "a good deal of ascendancy".
many ascendancy
.
First
and foremost, white hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
eyesight
rather
than younger. They have more life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
, apart from learning ones.
Therefore
, they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, how to tackle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tragedy which creates a huge obstacle in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
For example
, the country of India where most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
been consulted
with their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decisions which
is connected
to their life.

One more significant, beside this, due to having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
, since over 40+ ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable strategies, how to handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficult problems, every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
are recruiting an experienced person than fresher once.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, through them, they will cure problem
easily
with, out taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
For instance
, according to research of Mumbai University, European business private limited had been recruiting 40+ aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. Consequences, they have not taken any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Henceforth
to conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
persons have more either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
or materialistic mind, they are solving problems
easily
. While,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age laymen have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
knowledge regarding life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
, younger once have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experienced. I
also
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "say"
says
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
jubilant can take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
by younger once,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for young people to get advice from old people than young ones. ? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts