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young people in the past were more dependent on their parents to make decisions, however, they are able to make decisions about their own lives v.2

young people in the past were more dependent on their parents to make decisions, however, they are able to make decisions about their own lives v. 2
Since the beginning of the current century, the ability to make a decision has become a common trend. Some people believe that young adult today depend on their parents to make decisions; however, there is a substantial body of evidence claims that they are independent and could could control their owen lives. From a personal perspective, youngsters nowadays are capable of making decisions about their own lives more properly than they were in the past given that they are more educated and more adapted to technology. Below I will strive to explain my supporting points in more details. The first and foremost point, in the last three decades, educating children has improved drastically. To put it in other words, schools have designed their curriculum with taking a child' s personallity into consideration. Provided that students are taught how to think, they could make their decisions. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on that is, schools in developed countries, such as Canada and the United States of America, have started to teach their students ideas and concepts rather than fact. Thus, instead of teaching them specific curriculum, they teach them how to integrate information and explore topics. Furthermore, students are actively particpate in the class not just passively. In addition to that, this approach could promote not only students immagination, but also creativety. Hence, they could think rationally and set up to achieve their goals. Consequently, they have the ability to make optimal decisions by themselves without dependancy on their parents. Next, coupled with fanctional education, adaptation to technology is another reason why young people could make decisions alone. Although advanced technology are intricate, youngsters have the ability to adapt to it quickly. Moreover, using cutting-edge technology open the door to a wealth of information, which helps young adults tomake realistic decisions. For instance, seven years ago, I finished high school and I try to opt for a university. Since I had the ability to use the internet, I searched for any information I want to know. Likewise, adapting to technology helped me to know how couId admit to a university and check the strenghtens and weakness aspects of each one. As a result, technology played a vital role on helping me making my own desicion. Taking everthing into consideration; without a doubt, young people today could make their own decisions. It is suggested that schools design learning activities to help their students to be more independent.
Since the beginning of the
current
century, the
ability
to
make
a
decision
has become a common trend.
Some
people
believe that
young
adult
today
depend on their parents to
make
decisions
;
however
, there is a substantial body of evidence claims that they are independent and
could could
control their
owen
lives
. From a personal perspective, youngsters nowadays are capable of making
decisions
about their
own
lives
more
properly
than they were in the past
given
that they are more educated and more adapted to
technology
. Below I will strive to
explain
my supporting points in more
details
.

The
first
and foremost point, in the last three decades, educating children has
improved
drastically
. To put it
in other words
,
schools


have
designed their curriculum with taking a
child&
#039; s
personallity
into consideration. Provided that
students
are taught
how to
think
, they could
make
their
decisions
. A vivid example that could be
given
to shed light on
that is
, schools in
developed countries
, such as Canada and the United States of America, have
started
to teach their
students
ideas
and concepts
rather
than fact.
Thus
,
instead
of teaching them specific curriculum, they teach them how to integrate information and explore topics.
Furthermore
,
students
are
actively
particpate
in the
class
not
just
passively
.
In addition
to that, this approach could promote not
only
students
immagination
,
but
also
creativety
.
Hence
, they could
think
rationally
and set up to achieve their goals.
Consequently
, they have the
ability
to
make
optimal
decisions
by themselves without
dependancy
on their parents.

Next
, coupled with
fanctional
education, adaptation to
technology
is another reason why
young
people
could
make
decisions
alone. Although advanced
technology
are intricate, youngsters have the
ability
to adapt to it
quickly
.
Moreover
, using cutting-edge
technology
open the door to a wealth of information, which
helps
young
adults
tomake
realistic
decisions
.
For instance
, seven years ago, I finished high school and I try to opt for a university. Since I had the
ability
to
use
the internet, I searched for any information I want to know.
Likewise
, adapting to
technology
helped
me to know how
couId
admit to a university and
check
the
strenghtens
and weakness aspects of each one.
As a result
,
technology
played a vital role on helping me
making
my
own
desicion
.

Taking
everthing
into consideration; without a doubt,
young
people
today
could
make
their
own
decisions
. It
is suggested
that schools design learning activities to
help
their
students
to be more independent.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay young people in the past were more dependent on their parents to make decisions, however, they are able to make decisions about their own lives v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
410 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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