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In today's world, it is important to work quickly and risk making mistakes rather than working slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v.2

In today's world, it is important to work quickly and risk making mistakes rather than working slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v. 2
In the last three decades, the world has changed drastically. The job market has become more intricate and competitive. Some companies put their employees under stress to work fast and risk making mistakes, in order to achieve financial success. From a personal perspective, working slowly and make sure that everything is correct is better than working quickly and under pressure, given that slow working has a positive impact on safety, productivity and rational thinking. Below I will strive to explain my supporting points in more details. The first and foremost point, when employees work slowly and relaxed, they could enhance safety. Furthermore, making mistakes in some occupations is very harmful and could not be fixed. For instance, physicians and pharmacists have to take their time to finish their work given that patients' safety is the number one priority. Provided that they work in a stress-free environment, they could provide a strong health care system. Consequently, slow working is significant for safety. Next, coupled with safety, thinking rationally is another virtue of more relaxed approach at work. Employees who work slowly could focus on their work, so they make mistakes less often. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on what was elaborated above, two years ago, my brother started to work in the management department of a prestigious company. Since, he has worked in a stress-free atmosphere, he could analyze relevant information, such as data and judgments and make optimal decisions. To illustrate this point, working in a calm environment help him to gain a profound understanding of many aspects, so they could improve his guidance based on facts. Ultimately, productivity is another subtle point that should be born in mind. Even though employees who work under pressure could finish their work faster, they are less effective. To be more elucidate, they usually fell tense and overwhelmed, thus they end up hating their jobs. Nevertheless, employees who work slowly could be more productive. For example, the software and hardware engineers in Silicon Valley work in a relaxed environment, they could come up with new designs and projects, which play a vital role in companies’ financial success. As a result, working slowly is integral to promote productivity. Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, a more relaxed approach at work could not only enhance employees' mental well-being, but also foster safety. It is suggested that companies design new programs that help their employees to do their roles without stress and improve their work-capacity.
In the last three decades, the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
. The job market has become more intricate and competitive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
making mistakes, in order to achieve financial success. From a personal perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slowly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that everything is correct is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
quickly
and under pressure,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that slow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
, productivity and rational thinking. Below I will strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

The
first
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slowly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxed
, they could enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
Furthermore
, making mistakes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occupations is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful and could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
.
For instance
, physicians and pharmacists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take their time to finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
patients&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
is the number one priority. Provided that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free environment, they could provide a strong health care system.
Consequently
, slow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is significant for safety.

Next
, coupled with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
, thinking
rationally
is another virtue of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxed
approach at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employees
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slowly
could focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on what
was elaborated
above, two years ago, my brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the management department of a prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Since, he has worked in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free atmosphere, he could analyze relevant information, such as data and judgments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
optimal decisions. To illustrate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a calm environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to gain a profound understanding of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his guidance based on facts.

Ultimately
, productivity is another subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
that should
be born
in mind.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under pressure could finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
faster, they are less effective. To be more elucidate, they
usually
fell tense and overwhelmed,
thus
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up hating their jobs.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slowly
could be more productive.
For example
, the software and hardware engineers in Silicon Valley
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxed
environment, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with new designs and projects, which play a vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
financial success.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slowly
is integral to promote productivity.

Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relaxed
approach at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance
Possible spelling mistake found.
employees&
#039; mental well-being,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
. It
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
design new programs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to do their roles without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their work-capacity.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay In today's world, it is important to work quickly and risk making mistakes rather than working slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
415 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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