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TPO 45: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and ex v.1

TPO 45: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and ex v. 1
Implementing proper transportation facility for the nation is a challenge for any government. Whether a vast rail network or an improved road transport system can better facilitate the transportation of goods and commuters is a never ending debate. I believe that fast rails are the transportations of the future and that is why administrations should spend money on building and developing railways. To begin with, trains are faster and can carry a large number of passengers and goods at a time. When thousands of cars carry office-goers and students each day in a city, only a few shuttle trains can do the same. Traffic congestion kills millions of work hours per years and costs billions of dollars and it is caused basically by the sheer number of road transports we use every day. According to a report published by the Road Transport Authority in Bangladesh, traffic congestion in Dhaka city eats up 3. 2 million working hours per day. A vast network of railways is the only alternative to curb the loss. Moreover, expanding roads in cities is almost impossible as they must interconnect the existing lanes. Locomotives, on the contrary, primarily use railroads built aside the cities and consume less space. Effectively managed rail tracks do not cause congestion and save time. And this is why it is considered the transportation of the future. For instance, developed nations subsidise heavily in developing their transportation facilities and they invest more in expanding their rail system. To conclude, a government should plan for the future, considering facilities and impact on the environment, while investing in infrastructure development. As locomotives offer more conveniences than road transports do, it deserves more budget.
Implementing proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
facility for the nation is a challenge for any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Whether a vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
network or an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system can better facilitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and commuters is a never ending debate. I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
rails are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
of the future and
that is
why administrations should spend money on building and developing railways.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, trains are faster and can carry
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
passengers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at a time. When thousands of cars carry office-goers and students each day in a city,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few shuttle trains can do the same. Traffic congestion kills millions of work hours per years and costs billions of dollars and it
is caused
basically
by the sheer number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
every day. According to a report published by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Transport
Authority in Bangladesh, traffic congestion in Dhaka city eats up 3. 2 million working hours per day. A vast network of railways is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
alternative to curb the loss.

Moreover
, expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is almost impossible as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
interconnect the existing lanes. Locomotives,
on the contrary
,
primarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
railroads built aside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and consume less space.
Effectively
managed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
do not cause congestion and save time. And this is why it
is considered
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
of the future.
For instance
, developed nations
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidise' is British English.
subsidise
heavily
in developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
facilities and
they invest more in expanding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
system.

To conclude
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should plan for the future, considering facilities and impact on the environment, while investing in infrastructure development. As locomotives offer more conveniences than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
do, it deserves more budget.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay TPO 45: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and ex v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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