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Some people argue that current Social media like T. V news, newspaper and radio provide wrong information. Some people say that the current social media are misleading the people and create problems within the society. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people argue that current Social media like T. V news, newspaper and radio provide wrong information. Some people say that the current social media are misleading the people and create problems within the society. v. 2
As the world is expose to several problems, modern media like T. V news, radio and newspaper are expecting to make a contribution for a better society. However, this is not the case in our today media press. Profit making media organizations are only concerned about money rather than people interests. In addition, the press has been presenting news in ways to control audience thoughts. Therefore, I agree that media has played a vital role in misleading the people. The problem with profit media is that they show people what they want to see rather than discussing social and community problems, in order to make money. People this days want some spice in the news they read or watch irrespectively of the fact that the news is highlighting the proper fact or not. For instance, the T. V media would choose to spend its entire air time to show the weeding of celebrities instead of presenting problems that the general public is facing. No doubt the people want some entertainment through the media press, but the balance has to be maintained between entertainment and news. Another problem is that the media press has become so strong that it has the power to control how people think. Most of the general public relates itself to opinion presented in the T. V. anchors or newspaper writer. Not only does it mislead them. It also limits their skills to think and analyze. The news captivate people in such a way that it almost becomes impossible to form an individual unbiased opinion about an incident. It is time that the media realize that there are thing more important than money and control, rather than being selfish, greedy and power hunger, they should be true representation of the people’s voice and opinion.
As the world is expose to several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like T. V
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, radio and newspaper are expecting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a contribution for a better society.
However
, this is not the case in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
press
. Profit making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
organizations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concerned about money
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
interests
.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
press
has been presenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in ways to control audience thoughts.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has played a vital role in misleading the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
what they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
rather
than discussing social and community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this days
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
spice in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
they read or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
irrespectively
of the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is highlighting the proper fact or not.
For instance
, the T. V
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
would choose to spend its entire air time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the weeding of celebrities
instead
of presenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that the
Consider using "public".
general public
is facing. No doubt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
press
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the balance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be maintained
between entertainment and news.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
press
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strong that it has the power to control how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. Most of the
Consider using "public".
general public
relates itself to opinion presented in the T. V. anchors or newspaper writer. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it mislead them. It
also
limits their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and analyze. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
captivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in such a way that it almost becomes impossible to form an individual unbiased opinion about an incident.

It is time that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
realize that there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "things"?
thing
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than money and control,
rather
than being selfish, greedy and power hunger, they should be true representation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
voice and opinion.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that current Social media like T. V news, newspaper and radio provide wrong information. Some people say that the current social media are misleading the people and create problems within the society. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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