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Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. Why is this the case? What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people? v.4

Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. Why is this the case? What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people? v. 4
THE TIME HAS CHANGED, NOW, PEOPLE DESIRE IS MORE THAN BEFORE. THEY WANT TO GET EVERYTHING STRAIGHTFORWARD. SO, IT IS SAID THAT, IN THIS NEW ERA, YOUNSTER ARE MORE STRONGER AND INFLUENCE THAN THE LAST YOUTH PEOPLE. FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE THEY ARE EDUCATED. BUT, THIS HAS SOME POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE EFFECTS ON THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN YOUNGER AND OLDER. TO BEGIN WITH, THE MAIN REASON BEHID THIS IS THAT, NOWADAYS, PEOPLE ARE EDUCATED WHICH MEAN THAT, THEY HAVE A LOT OF KNOWLEDGE THAN PREVIOUS YOUNG AND THEIR WAY OF THINKING HAS ALSO CHANGED. THEY ARE GUIDED NOT ONLY BY THEIR TEACHERS OR PARENTS, THEY ALSO LEARN BY USING DIFFERENT SOURCES, WHICH HAS HIGE IMPACT N PEOPLE’S LIFE. FOR EXAMPLE, INTERNET IS EVERYWHERE AND HAS THE ANSWER OF EVERY QUESTION THAT, WE SEARCH ON IT. THIS SOURCE ENHANCED OUR SKILLS. THAT’S WHY, PEOPLE NOW ARE MORE POWERFUL AND EFFECTED THAT PAST PEOPLE. HOWEVER, THIS DOES MAKE SOME NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE IMPACTS ON RELATIONSHIPS. ON THE BENEFITS SIDE, THE FRIENDSHIP CAN BECOME EVEN MORE STRONGER BETWEEN YOUNG AND OLD PEOPLE. TO BE CLEAR, OLD PEOPLE CAN LEARN MORE FROM YOUNSTERS BECAUSE THEY HAVE LOTS OF SKILLS AND TECHNIQUES. ON THE DOWN SIDE, IT COULD CRATE AWARENESS. SUCH AS, IS A PERSON SHOW ALWAYS THEIR POWER AND USE THEIR ATTITUDE OF HAVING SKILLS. THIS SOME CAN CREATE WAR OR CONFLICTS BETWEEN THEM WHICH MAY WEAK AND EVEN LOSE THEIR FRIENDSHIPS. IN CONCLUSION, TODAY’S YOUNG PEOPLE ARE MORE ENERGETIC AND AFFECTED BECAUSE THEY ARE WELL-EDUCATED. BUT, THIS CAN LEAD TO ASOME POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE AFFECTS ON RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN OLD AND YOUNG ONE.
THE TIME HAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGED
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
DESIRE IS MORE THAN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BEFORE
. THEY WANT TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
EVERYTHING STRAIGHTFORWARD.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
, IT
IS SAID
THAT, IN THIS NEW ERA,
Possible spelling mistake found.
YOUNSTER
ARE
Use only "STRONGER" (without 'MORE') when you use the comparative.
MORE STRONGER
AND INFLUENCE THAN THE LAST YOUTH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
. FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, THIS IS HAPPENING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THEY
ARE EDUCATED
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
, THIS HAS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
POSITIVE
AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
EFFECTS ON THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN YOUNGER AND OLDER.

TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
WITH, THE MAIN REASON
Possible spelling mistake found.
BEHID
THIS IS THAT, NOWADAYS,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ARE EDUCATED
WHICH MEAN THAT, THEY HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A LOT OF
KNOWLEDGE THAN PREVIOUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
YOUNG
AND THEIR WAY OF THINKING HAS
ALSO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGED
. THEY
ARE GUIDED
NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
BY THEIR TEACHERS OR PARENTS, THEY
ALSO
LEARN BY USING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
SOURCES, WHICH HAS
Possible spelling mistake found.
HIGE
IMPACT N
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE’S
LIFE.
FOR EXAMPLE
, INTERNET IS EVERYWHERE AND HAS THE ANSWER OF EVERY QUESTION THAT, WE SEARCH ON IT. THIS SOURCE ENHANCED OUR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILLS
. THAT’S WHY,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
ARE MORE POWERFUL AND EFFECTED THAT PAST
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
.

HOWEVER
, THIS DOES
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
POSITIVE
IMPACTS ON RELATIONSHIPS. ON THE BENEFITS SIDE, THE FRIENDSHIP CAN BECOME EVEN
Use only "STRONGER" (without 'MORE') when you use the comparative.
MORE STRONGER
BETWEEN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
YOUNG
AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OLD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
. TO BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CLEAR
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OLD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
CAN LEARN MORE FROM
Possible spelling mistake found.
YOUNSTERS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THEY HAVE LOTS OF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILLS
AND TECHNIQUES. ON THE
Did you mean "DOWNsIDE"?
DOWN SIDE
, IT COULD CRATE AWARENESS. SUCH AS, IS A PERSON
The adverb 'ALWAYS' is usually put before the verb 'SHOW'.
SHOW ALWAYS
THEIR POWER AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
THEIR ATTITUDE OF HAVING
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILLS
. THIS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
CAN CREATE WAR OR CONFLICTS BETWEEN THEM WHICH MAY WEAK AND EVEN LOSE THEIR FRIENDSHIPS.

IN CONCLUSION
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TODAY
’S
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
YOUNG
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ARE MORE ENERGETIC AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
AFFECTED
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THEY ARE WELL-EDUCATED.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
, THIS CAN LEAD TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
ASOME
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
POSITIVE
AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
AFFECTS ON RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OLD
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
YOUNG
ONE.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. Why is this the case? What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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