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Young people are leaving their homes frome rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantage? v.1

Young people are leaving their homes frome rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantage? v. 1
In recent years, young people tend to continue their education and improve their profession by moving to the cities due to lack of facilities and having different opportunities on their place. However, there are number of drawbacks occurring to immigrate youngsters, I believe that the benefits outweigh notable in develop society. There are various reasons that immigration dramatically increase from rural areas. On the one hand, the most significant reason is the availability of college, universities and other educational places. Also young people have a chance to choose many different fields of study without any restriction in equipped and modern university in order to reach a high level of education. For instance, they could be a doctor or an engineer. On the other hand, they able to access high standard of living by employing in many companies and organization that exist in big cities. In the other words, job opportunities in megacities will bring them an occupation with high income and good benefits that attract them to replace as making life much easier an comfortable for themselves and their families. Although, moving to the city have many drawbacks like overpopulation, air pollution, traffic jam, and many other problems, I believe that the advantages of this replacement outweigh due to the fact that increasing graduated people increase the level of society’s education so this society able to develop faster and competence. On the other hand, more people can live in appropriate circumstance in the city in order to find a better job in modern cities. To conclude, in recent decades, young generation keen on immigrate to the urban area from rural area because of many facilities and attraction. Regardless of the disadvantages, I think the benefits are more remarkable to develop a society.
In recent years, young
people
tend to continue their education and
improve
their profession by moving to the
cities
due to lack of facilities and having
different
opportunities on their place.
However
, there are number of drawbacks occurring to immigrate youngsters, I believe that the benefits outweigh notable in develop society.

There are various reasons that immigration
dramatically
increase from rural areas. On the one hand, the most significant reason is the availability of college, universities and
other
educational places.
Also
young
people
have a chance to choose
many
different
fields of study without any restriction in equipped and modern university in order to reach a high level of education.
For instance
, they could be a doctor or an engineer. On the
other
hand,
they
able to access high standard of living by employing in
many
companies
and organization that exist in
big
cities
. In the
other
words, job opportunities in
megacities
will bring them an occupation with high income and
good
benefits that attract them to replace as making life much easier
an
comfortable for themselves and their families.

Although, moving to the city have
many
drawbacks like overpopulation, air pollution, traffic jam, and
many
other
problems, I believe that the advantages of this replacement outweigh due to the fact that increasing graduated
people
increase the level of society’s education
so
this society able to develop faster and competence. On the
other
hand, more
people
can
live
in appropriate circumstance in the city in order to find a better job in modern cities.

To conclude
, in recent decades, young generation keen on immigrate to the urban area from rural area
because
of
many
facilities and attraction. Regardless of the disadvantages, I
think
the benefits are more remarkable to develop a society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people are leaving their homes frome rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantage? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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