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Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages? v.1

Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1
A large number of youth decides to leave their hometown from rural area to urban area in the search of better job opportunities and quality of education which, is provided in metro cities. I personally believe that pros of migration outweigh its cons. There are two primary reason for migrating. Firstly, younger generation wants to have a good resource and proper quality of life, such as, proper health care facilities, colleges for education so that they are able to compete with developing generation and have better qualified jobs which, will give them self satisfaction, ability to grow, and support their families in the village. For example, in the recent years, it has been seen that the quality of life of people living in a small village has increased due to moving to large cities. Although, there is a positive growth. Some factors affect such as, overpopulation, which leads to congestion on roads as a result, employees are not able to reach the workplace on time and feel stressed out during due to long hours travelling. Moreover, due to a large number of people coming from different area work together There is a lot of competition to sustain in companies For an instant, Wipro organization wants their employees to develop skills which, makes them different from others. In addition, a lot of work can be done by technology such as machines and computers which eliminates the work of humans. In conclusion, there are lots of merits of moving from one place to another for personal development and job growth to provide a source of income. Although, there are disadvantages such as traffic and competition. I believe advantage is outweighed its disadvantages.
A large number of
youth decides to
leave
their hometown from rural area to urban area in the search of better job opportunities and quality of education which,
is provided
in metro cities. I
personally
believe that pros of migration outweigh its cons.

There are two primary reason for migrating.
Firstly
, younger generation wants to have a
good
resource and proper quality of life, such as, proper health care facilities, colleges for education
so
that they are able to compete with developing generation and have better qualified jobs which, will give them
self satisfaction
, ability to grow, and support their families in the village.
For example
, in the recent years, it has been
seen
that the quality of life of
people
living in a
small
village has increased due to moving to large cities.

Although
, there is a
positive
growth.
Some
factors affect such as, overpopulation, which leads to congestion on roads
as a result
, employees are not able to reach the workplace on time and feel
stressed
out during due to long hours travelling.
Moreover
, due to
a large number of
people
coming from
different
area work together

There is
a lot of
competition to sustain in
companies
For an instant,
Wipro
organization wants their employees to develop
skills
which,
makes
them
different
from others.
In addition
,
a lot of
work can
be done
by technology such as machines and computers which eliminates the work of humans.

In conclusion
, there are lots of merits of moving from one place to another for personal development and job growth to provide a source of income. Although, there are disadvantages such as traffic and competition. I believe advantage
is outweighed
its disadvantages.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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