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More and more people are opting for ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Do this development has more advantages over disadvantages? v.1

More and more people are opting for ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Do this development has more advantages over disadvantages? v. 1
It is a well known fact that food is very necessary for the human beings. Most of the people prefer to eat junk food as compared to homemade food. There are some merits as well as demerits, which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. One the one hand, there are some advantages of eating fast food. First and foremost point is a busy schedule. In the modern era, all the people have their own work, they mostly spend their time on their work, they do not leave enough time to cook homemade food. So, that is why, they give preference to eat junk food because it only cooked in 2-3 minutes. Moreover, in these days, most of the people like to eat spicy food that is why they ready-made food because it is very spicy and delicious. On the other hand, there are also some disadvantages of eating ready made food. Firstly, most of the people suffer from some dangerous diseases such as obesity, heart attack and so on because they eat too much fast food while sitting in one place, with this they face that problems, which are very harmful for their health. For example, China is the most popular country of eating fast food, but in these days, the people of that country suffer from Crona. Unfortunately, regular consumption of ready-to-eat food may cause various health problems. To conclude, there are both positive as well as negative effects of eating the junk food, but it depends on the humans, how much fast food is good to eat.
It is a well known fact that
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food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary for the human beings. Most of the
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people
prefer to
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eat
junk
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food
as compared to homemade
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food
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits
as well
as demerits, which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of
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eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
First
and foremost point is a busy schedule. In the modern era, all the
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people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work, they
mostly
spend their time on their work, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to cook homemade
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food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
why, they give preference to
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eat
junk
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food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cooked in 2-3 minutes.
Moreover
, in these days, most of the
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people
like to
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eat
spicy
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food
that is
why they ready-made
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food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
spicy and delicious.

On the other hand
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of
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eating
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
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food
.
Firstly
, most of the
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people
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases such as obesity, heart attack and
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so
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
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eat
too much
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
while sitting in one place, with this they face that problems, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for their health.
For example
, China is the most popular country of
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eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in these days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of that country suffer from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Crona
. Unfortunately, regular consumption of ready-to-eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may cause various health problems.

To conclude
, there are both
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "positives"?
positive
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
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eating
the junk
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food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it depends on the humans, how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are opting for ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Do this development has more advantages over disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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