Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You went to a museum with your elderly friend last week. However, he/she found it difficult to walk around the museum. Write a letter to the manager and say: whom did you visit the museum with? what problems/inconveniences did he/she face? also, suggest sol v.1

You went to a museum with your elderly friend last week. However, he/she found it difficult to walk around the museum. Write a letter to the manager and say: whom did you visit the museum with? what problems/inconveniences did he/she face? also, suggest sol v. 1
These days are the days of advertisements all over the world. Several companies are advertising to raise their sales. There are two main factors which make adverts better. In my opinion, it has both pros and cons for the community. On the one hand, social media such as Facebook, Instragram, YouTube plays a significant role in making the publicity superior. Nowadays, people are using internet for almost every reason, including entertainment, household chores, office works, thesis and interacting with kiths and kins. Therefore, when they will see a newly introduced products poster, then, they do not take second to buy such items. For instance, last month, my uncle mobile phone got damaged. However, after some days when he saw an advertisement of newly introduced Samsung phone on television. Then, he was immediately visited to stone's throw away market to buy it. Furthermore, renowned actors, singers, models, dancers commence to advertise various brand products that might encourage the purchaser. Actually, most of the youth prefer to use the same products which were advertised by their eminent stars. As a result, consumer's might be grown up and company gain a lot of benefits via propaganda. On the other hand, commercials brings both positive and negative effects in the population. Initially, every person cannot afford high priced goods. Even though, some products seem good on an announcement, they are not durable and become low quality. This way, it cheats the people and develop negative impacts on society. Moreover, celebrities gain an ample of money by doing commercials. Then, this money circulates all over the country and assists the development of the nation. Similarly, it makes citizens aware about the new items arrived at the market. In conclusion, social media and roles of well-known personalities helps to grow sales via adverts. Likewise, it carries both merits and drawbacks for the community.
These days are the days of advertisements all over the world. Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are advertising to raise their sales. There are two main factors which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
adverts better. In my opinion, it has both pros and cons for the community.

On the one hand, social media such as Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Instragram
, YouTube plays a significant role in making the publicity superior. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using internet for almost every reason, including entertainment, household chores, office works, thesis and interacting with
Possible spelling mistake found.
kiths
and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "kin", the plural form of the noun 'kin'?
kins
.
Therefore
, when they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
newly
introduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
poster, then, they do not take second to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such items.
For instance
, last month, my uncle mobile phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
damaged.
However
, after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
newly
introduced Samsung phone on television. Then, he was immediately visited to stone's throw away market to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
Furthermore
, renowned actors, singers, models, dancers commence to advertise various brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that might encourage the purchaser. Actually, most of the youth prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
were advertised
by their eminent stars.
As a result
, consumer's might
be grown
up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits via propaganda.

On the other hand
, commercials brings both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in the population.
Initially
, every person cannot afford high priced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Even though
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
seem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
on an announcement, they are not durable and become low quality.

This way, it cheats the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on society.
Moreover
, celebrities gain
The phrase 'an ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an ample of
money by doing commercials. Then, this money circulates all over the country and assists the development of the nation.
Similarly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
citizens aware about the new items arrived at the market.

In conclusion
, social media and roles of well-known personalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to grow sales via adverts.
Likewise
, it carries both merits and drawbacks for the community.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay You went to a museum with your elderly friend last week. However, he/she found it difficult to walk around the museum. Write a letter to the manager and say: whom did you visit the museum with? what problems/inconveniences did he/she face? also, suggest sol v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts