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You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off work to complete it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Ask for some time off to complete a qualification. Suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off. Say how v.1

You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off work to complete it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Ask for some time off to complete a qualification. Suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off. Say how v. 1
Children learn from whatever they see around the world and also try to copy it. Some group of people thinks that it is the responsibility of parents to teach children how to be a good member of society. However, others think that teachers should teach this. The essay will describe who is responsible for teaching children to be a good person of society. There are multifarious reasons behind teaching these type of values by parents. The prime reason, why parents should teach children is for unconditional love between them. To simplify this, most of the time children spend with their parents so an unconditional love is created between them so that children obey their parents. For instance, from born of a child, he or she is cured by his or her parents so a 5 years old child will definitely obey whatever their parents ask to do. Another most significant reason, children do whatever their parents do. Stemming from this, whether good or bad things done by parents, it will be followed by children. To illustrate, if parents have a bad habit of shouting to anyone without any reason which is seen by their children, then children will also get affected to this bad habit and if parents do good behaviour in front of others, then it will be followed by their children. In contrast, why teachers have the responsibility to teach about values to children is for sufficient time. To simplify this, nowadays parents do not spend their most of time with their children because of work. For example, in many metropolises, both mother and father are working and they do not allocate sufficient time to their child and put them in the hostel. So that school is the only place left for children to learn about values. Furthermore, teachers can identify the child's good and bad manner and also can improve them while teaching. Agglomerating all these points elaborated above, it can be concluded that, however teacher has responsibility to teach a child but the most responsible for it is the parents of the child itself.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn from whatever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
around the world and
also
try to copy it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of society.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
this. The essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
who is responsible for teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
person of society.

There are multifarious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind teaching these type of values by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The prime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is for unconditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
between them. To simplify this, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
an unconditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is created
between them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
obey their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For instance
, from born of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, he or she
is cured
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a 5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will definitely obey whatever their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ask to do. Another most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do whatever their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do. Stemming from this, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, it will
be followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To illustrate, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habit of shouting to anyone without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habit and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in front of others, then it will
be followed
by their children.

In contrast
, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have the responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
about values to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is for sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To simplify this, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not spend their most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of work.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
metropolises, both mother and father are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they do not allocate sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and put them in the hostel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that school is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn about values.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can identify the child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
manner and
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them while teaching.

Agglomerating all these points elaborated above, it can
be concluded
that,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most responsible for it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
itself.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off work to complete it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Ask for some time off to complete a qualification. Suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off. Say how v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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