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Some believe that it is good for a country's culture to import films and TV programmes, while others think that it is better for a country to have their own films and TV programmes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some believe that it is good for a country's culture to import films and TV programmes, while others think that it is better for a country to have their own films and TV programmes. v. 1
In recent times, the media and its offshoots are playing a vital role in everyone’s life. Because of which, there is a widespread criticism that states the role of advertisements being telecasted in television or shared in any of the social media seems to be demoralising and carry little benefits. While I concede to this belief about the maligning impacts of commercials, I have some reservations in completely banning those. To begin with, we have been acclimated to watching advertisements since more than 3 decades. Interestingly, the role of media has become enormously aggressive such that most of the times it annoys people when they are watching any interesting content on television or in any electronic gadgets. For example, there are multiple brands of shampoos and hair dyes being endorsed by various film fraternities. It is a regrettable fact that being a social icon, the celebrities support such products without assessing the ill nature of the additives present. Furthermore, when people start to use these products, it leads to skin irritation and rashes instead of giving the promised outcomes. Having said that, are advertisements really behove to the benefit of people? If it does so, it would not need any sort of endorsement to be made in the media. For example, there are no such posters made for buying food from any established food outlets such as McDonalds or KFC. Therefore, people should not fall into the trap of buying those advertised products without weighing their health or skin compatibility with those chemicals. However, if any, of the products are supported by the government or any civic societies, then we can buy those products after careful consideration. To recapitulate, advertisements are made only to reap revenues by hoodwinking unbelievable benefits to the layman. It is our imperative responsibility to examine the advertisements before deciding whether to buy the product or not. Therefore, I agree that advertisements are always deceptive to consumers and people should not fall into their traps.
In recent times, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and its offshoots are playing a vital role in everyone’s life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of which, there is a widespread criticism that states the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
being
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
in television or shared in any of the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
seems to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'demoralising' is British English.
demoralising
and carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
benefits. While I concede to this belief about the maligning impacts of commercials, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reservations in completely banning those.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we have
been acclimated
to watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
since more than 3 decades.
Interestingly
, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has become
enormously
aggressive such that
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
it annoys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they are watching any interesting content on television or in any electronic gadgets.
For example
, there are multiple brands of shampoos and hair dyes
being endorsed
by various film fraternities. It is a regrettable fact that being a social icon, the celebrities support such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without assessing the ill nature of the additives present.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, it leads to skin irritation and rashes
instead
of giving the promised outcomes.

Having said that, are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
really
Possible spelling mistake found.
behove
to the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
? If it does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it would not need any sort of endorsement to
be made
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
For example
, there are no such posters made for buying food from any established food outlets such as
Did you mean the fast food chain "McDonald's" (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
McDonalds
or KFC.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not fall into the trap of buying those advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without weighing their health or skin compatibility with those chemicals.
However
, if any, of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are supported
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or any civic societies, then we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
after careful consideration.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to reap revenues by hoodwinking unbelievable benefits to the layman. It is our imperative responsibility to examine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or not.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are always deceptive to consumers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not fall into their traps.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that it is good for a country's culture to import films and TV programmes, while others think that it is better for a country to have their own films and TV programmes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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