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Some people are reducing their walks, however many health experts say that walking is thebest exercise to maintain health. Why do people walk less? What might encourage people to walk longer distances? v.2

Some people are reducing their walks, however many health experts say that walking is thebest exercise to maintain health. Why do people walk less? What might encourage people to walk longer distances? v. 2
A daily walk of thirty minutes is said to be the best exercise. Our grandparents used to walk for miles on end to reach their destination. Today, people walk much less. Many factors are responsible for this. In the developed world mist families have cars. They don' t walk even to the nearest grocery store. In the developing world, too, people are giving up the habit of walking because they have easy access to public transport systems. We all seek comfort. Walking on foot can be tiring. Needless to say, people prefer to trevel by buses or cars whenever they have access to them. Motor vehicles are fast and thus they also help save time. Unfortunately, this habit of using the car or bua has several negative. Consequences, most of us now spend hours in the office sitting in front of computers. Because of sandentery life style, we have developed many health problems like obesity, diabetes and heart trouble. We can avoid of these lifestyle diseases by simply walking for 30 minutes a day. Many people who given up the habit of walking are unaware of the health problems they face. The government and healt workers need to create awareness among the genreal public about benefits of walking. People who use cars should park their vehicles farther from their office and take steps instead of elevator. Children too should be encouraged to walk to school. Once they get used to this habit they are wore likely to stick to it in the future. To recapitulate, lacl of time and need for comfort are the reasons that prevent people from walking. However most of us will start walking again if we are aware of its benefits. The government and media can play important role in this.
A daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
of thirty minutes
is said
to be the best exercise. Our grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
for miles on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to reach their destination.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
much less.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors are responsible for this.

In the developed world mist families have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. They
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
even to the nearest grocery store. In the developing world, too,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are giving up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of walking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have easy access to public transport systems. We all seek comfort. Walking on foot can be tiring. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
Possible spelling mistake found.
trevel
by buses or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
whenever they have access to them. Motor vehicles are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
thus
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
save time.

Unfortunately, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
bua
has several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Consequences, most of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
spend hours in the office sitting in front of computers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sandentery
life style, we have developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems like obesity, diabetes and heart trouble. We can avoid of these lifestyle diseases by
simply
walking for 30 minutes a day.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of walking are unaware of the health problems they face. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
healt
workers need to create awareness among the
Possible spelling mistake found.
genreal
public about benefits of walking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should park their vehicles farther from their office and take steps
instead
of elevator. Children too should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
to school.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "worn".
wore
likely to stick to it in the future.

To recapitulate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
lacl
of time and need for comfort are the reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from walking.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
most of us will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
walking again if we are aware of its benefits. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and media can play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people are reducing their walks, however many health experts say that walking is thebest exercise to maintain health. Why do people walk less? What might encourage people to walk longer distances? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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