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Some people are reducing their walks, however, many health experts say that walking is the best exercise to maintain health. Why do people walk less? What might encourage people to walk longer distances? v.2

Some people are reducing their walks, however, many health experts say that walking is the best exercise to maintain health. Why do people walk less? What might encourage people to walk longer distances? v. 2
Undoubtedly, walking is a very good form of exercise and is an effective method for improving and developing the health of all people. But, nowadays people have less interest in walking regularly due to various reasons. In addition, this essay also proposes some practical ways to promote this exercise as follows. The primary reason is the lack of awareness about the advantages of walking regularly among common people. They always believe that walking is a complete waste of time and energy, which can be utilised in their job sector for greater productivity. For example, most of the men are working extra hours in offices to get a high salary for the betterment of financial status, instead of doing exercise. This would cause many health problems in their life later on. The sedentary lifestyle and technological development are also influencing people to walk less. People are using their private cars even to visit a nearby place. The lifestyle and availability of cars and other transportation system are causing this problem. Moreover, people lead much more busy life due to both personal and professional responsibilities. Therefore, they may not get sufficient amount of time for walking on a regular basis. For instance, children have many things to study for achieving higher qualification in their academic area, whereas youngsters are forced to work full- time because of a stiff target and higher competition. As a result, they mostly concentrate only on duties and responsibilities rather than healthy life. The city life is another reason people walk less this days. They have markets, shopping malls, schools, hospitals etc. near their living places and as a consequence, they need to walk very little. Lack of proper pavement and green environment also a hindrance in many cities. However, there are some practical ways to develop an interest in walking such as mass awareness, providing adequate facilities in work areas as well as in educational institutions for the greater betterment of the healthy society and so on. In this way, walking exercise can be an inevitable part of everybody’s life. Consequently, people would hardly have health issues namely obesity, high cholesterol level and blood pressure disorders. Parents should teach their children the importance of walking and other forms of exercises. More strict rules should be imposed in case of using frequent private cars and the proper pavements which are safe for people to walk should be building by the government. In conclusion, although it is a time-consuming exercise, people have to find enough time to do walking exercise for longer distance without hesitation, which would help them enormously in the long run.
Undoubtedly
, walking is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and is an effective method for improving and developing the health of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less interest in walking
regularly
due to various reasons.
In addition
, this essay
also
proposes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical ways to promote this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as follows.

The primary reason is the lack of awareness about the advantages of walking
regularly
among common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They always believe that walking is a complete waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy, which can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
in their job sector for greater productivity.
For example
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are working extra hours in offices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high salary for the betterment of financial status,
instead
of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. This would cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
later on.

The sedentary lifestyle and technological development are
also
influencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
less.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are using their private cars even to visit a nearby place. The lifestyle and availability of cars and other transportation system are causing this problem.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lead much more busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to both personal and professional responsibilities.
Therefore
, they may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for walking on a regular basis.
For instance
, children have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to study for achieving higher qualification in their academic area, whereas youngsters
are forced
to work full-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a stiff target and higher competition.
As a result
, they
mostly
concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on duties and responsibilities
rather
than healthy life.

The city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is another reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
less
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this days
. They have markets, shopping malls, schools, hospitals etc. near their living places and as a consequence, they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
. Lack of proper pavement and green environment
also
a hindrance in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical ways to develop an interest in walking such as mass awareness, providing adequate facilities in work areas
as well
as in educational institutions for the greater betterment of the healthy society and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In this way, walking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
can be an inevitable part of everybody’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would hardly have health issues
namely
obesity, high cholesterol level and blood pressure disorders. Parents should teach their children the importance of walking and other forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. More strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should
be imposed
in case of using frequent private cars and the proper pavements which are safe for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
should be building by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In conclusion
, although it is a time-consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do walking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
for longer distance without hesitation, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
enormously
in the long run.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people are reducing their walks, however, many health experts say that walking is the best exercise to maintain health. Why do people walk less? What might encourage people to walk longer distances? v. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
435 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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