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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Some people say children use technology too much these days Others believe that using technology now will help them in the future Discuss both these views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer an v.2

Some people say children use technology too much these days Others believe that using technology now will help them in the future Discuss both these views and give your opinion 2
Many people seem to have a common opinion when it comes to use of technology by young people. There are arguments in support of it and against it as there are equally overwhelming number of people on either side of the argument. In my opinion, children should be allowed to make use of technology on daily life as it helps them to be creative in a long run. First of all, many parents are worried that children are not focusing on their study but are busy in browsing internet or in games on mobiles and tablets. It cannot be denied that excessive use of technology can affect their studies. For example, a child who plays a lot on his mobile or on tablet is likely to miss deadline for his homework and assignments. If such situations continue, it is a matter to worry as it can have negative consequences. On the other hand, there are many guardians who give their children the liberty to make use of modern technology. Such parents encourage children to utilize technology not only for play and fun but also in studies. Sometimes, parents take their time out and assist their sons and daughters to find out new educational programs and websites. Such parents hold the view that the technology is very important to succeed in the future and their children need to have necessary skill and experience for their prosperous future. My parents, for example, always allow and encourage my brother to search for new mobile applications, which help him to write better English composition. To sum up, though there are parents with different approach to technological advances, it is my view that technology is going to be an integral part of our life and of future generation. Therefore, it is recommended that parents guide their children to make effective use of modern technologies in their daily activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem to have a common opinion when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
by young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. There are arguments in support of it and against it as there are
equally
overwhelming number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on either side of the argument. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on daily life as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be creative in a long run.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are worried
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not focusing on their study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are busy in browsing internet or in games on mobiles and tablets. It cannot
be denied
that excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can affect their studies.
For example
, a child who plays a lot on his mobile or on tablet is likely to miss deadline for his homework and assignments. If such situations continue, it is a matter to worry as it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
guardians who give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the liberty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for play and fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in studies.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take their time out and assist their sons and daughters to find out new educational programs and websites. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hold the view that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to succeed in the future and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to have necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and experience for their prosperous future. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
for example
, always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
and encourage my brother to search for new mobile applications, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to write better English composition.

To sum up, though there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approach to technological advances, it is my view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is going to be an integral part of our life and of future generation.
Therefore
, it
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in their daily activities.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say children use technology too much these days Others believe that using technology now will help them in the future Discuss both these views and give your opinion 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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