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IELTS WRITING TASK -2You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Sending criminals to the prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training more are better ways to help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with thi v.1

IELTS WRITING TASK -2 Sending criminals to the prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training more are better ways to help them. with thi v. 1
In the highly competitive era of today, marketers such as restaurants and supermarkets have realized the marketing opportunity towards schools & collages and are investing money in such places to promote their products. Though this sponsorship may bring some positive benefits to schools and its students, it has significant detrimental impacts towards student’s health and the budget of the family in the long run. Admittedly, schools and colleges receive some benefits because of this sponsorship by fast-food companies. One obvious benefit is that these institutions receive a handsome amount from this sponsorship and invest this money to improve its infrastructure by constructing, for example, a modern computer lab, computerized classrooms, better library facilities, and well equipped sports facilities. Furthermore, the consequence of improved infrastructure helps schools and colleges to provide a better learning and to be able to fetch good results from its students. As a Thus, However, In spite of having some benefits, there are some long-term adverse effects exerted by advertisements of fast-food products. Firstly, adverts of fast food and their availability in the school premises would help children to develop a taste for such foods. To make it more appealing, the producers of this food use some additives, for instance, tasting salt and extra fat all of which are deleterious to our health. This is considered the root cause of obesity and other health problems among the students in the long run. Secondly, Commercialization in the academic environment has negative impacts on the school students. Advertisements are produced in such a persuasive way that lures children to force their parents to buy this fast-food. As these foods are high in price, such extra cost puts a strain on the family budget. Thus, the promotion of fast foods has some significant negative influences in the health of a student and the budget of a family. In conclusion, though educational institutes derive some possible benefits from the sponsorships of fast food companies and supermarkets, there are serious negative repercussions caused by this persuasive promotion towards students. Thus, this is more of a negative development than positive
In the
highly
competitive era of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, marketers such as restaurants and supermarkets have realized the marketing opportunity towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
& collages and are investing money in such places to promote their products. Though this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
may bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it has significant detrimental impacts towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and the budget of the family in the long run.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and colleges receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. One obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that these institutions receive a handsome amount from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
and invest this money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
its infrastructure by constructing,
for example
, a modern computer lab, computerized classrooms, better library facilities, and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
sports facilities.
Furthermore
, the consequence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
infrastructure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and colleges to provide a better learning and to be able to fetch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results from its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. As a
Thus
,

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
long-term adverse effects exerted by advertisements of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food products.
Firstly
, adverts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and their availability in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
premises would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children to develop a taste for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more appealing, the producers of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additives,
for instance
, tasting salt and extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
all of which are deleterious to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This
is considered
the root cause of obesity and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the long run.

Secondly
, Commercialization in the academic environment has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Advertisements
are produced
in such a persuasive way that lures children to force their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food. As these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are high in price, such extra cost puts a strain on the family budget.
Thus
, the promotion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influences in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and the budget of a family.

In conclusion
, though educational institutes derive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorships
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and supermarkets, there are serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
repercussions caused by this persuasive promotion towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Thus
, this is more of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
development than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay IELTS WRITING TASK -2 Sending criminals to the prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training more are better ways to help them. with thi v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
346 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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