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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Leaders must pay attention to the advice and opinions of other people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.453

Leaders must pay attention to the advice and opinions of other people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 453
That leaders must consider other people’s advice and opinions is an undeniable fact. Leaders can not only be more creative and make superior decisions by hearing new ideas, but also enhance the spirit among the members. Although some insightful people might disagree with this statement, I approve it based on the following reasons. First and foremost, by listening to the advice and viewpoints of other people, the leaders can come up with new ideas. Admittedly, no one looks at the problems equally; hence, by sharing their ideas and points of view, the group can be more creative in finding a peaceful solution to conflicts or questions. For example, when I was at university working with my friends on our semester project, I, as the leader, paid close attention to everyone’s viewpoints and their opinions, which were very helpful. Consequently, I manage to find a new way to improve the accuracy of our model in the computer simulation. Second, the leaders can come up with an alternative solution to a desperate situation and reduce the costs. Therefore, hearing different opinions from other can assist the leader to save money. The veracity of this claim can be evaluated through a meticulous observation on the body of examples; in almost all huge companies, the leaders usually hold a series of meetings with business experts and engineers in order to discuss possible ways of conducting their massive projects and to reduce the capital cost. In summary, consultation with others is a necessity for leaders. Last but not least, the leaders can build up spirit among the employees or members of the group by allowing them to share their ideas, and by paying enough attention to them. When people perceives that they have a voice in their team or company, they would feel happier and are more satisfied; and the overall result would be higher efficiency, with concomitant progress. Moreover, leaders would work more effectively when they realize that their team is satisfied with their performance and the progress of their group or company. All in all, although some sophisticated people might disagree with the statement, I reiterate that the leaders should listen carefully to advice and opinions of other people. This policy would benefit the leader, other people, and their company. I highly recommend all leaders to adopt this policy.
That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
advice and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
is an undeniable fact.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leaders
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be more creative and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
superior decisions by hearing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhance the spirit among the members. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
insightful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might disagree with this statement, I approve it based on the following reasons.

First
and foremost, by listening to the advice and viewpoints of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
.
Admittedly
, no one looks at the problems
equally
;
hence
, by sharing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
and points of view, the group can be more creative in finding a peaceful solution to conflicts or questions.
For example
, when I was at university working with my friends on our semester project, I, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
, paid close attention to everyone’s viewpoints and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
, which were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful.
Consequently
, I manage to find a new way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the accuracy of our model in the computer simulation.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with an alternative solution to a desperate situation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the costs.
Therefore
, hearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
can assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
to save money. The veracity of this claim can
be evaluated
through a meticulous observation on the body of examples; in almost all huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
usually
hold a series of meetings with business experts and engineers in order to discuss possible ways of conducting their massive projects and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the capital cost. In summary, consultation with others is a necessity for leaders.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
can build up spirit among the employees or members of the group by allowing them to share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
, and by paying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention to them. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
perceives
that they have a voice in their team or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, they would feel happier and are more satisfied; and the
overall
result would be higher efficiency, with concomitant progress.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
would work more
effectively
when they realize that their team
is satisfied
with their performance and the progress of their group or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

All in all, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might disagree with the statement, I reiterate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
should listen
carefully
to advice and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This policy would benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. I
highly
recommend all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
to adopt this policy.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Leaders must pay attention to the advice and opinions of other people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 453

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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