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1 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task A number of different medical traditions are now widely known and used Western medicine using drugs and surgery herbal medicine acupuncture using needles at certain points of the body homeopathy using minut v.2

1 A number of different medical traditions are now widely known and used Western medicine using drugs and surgery herbal medicine acupuncture using needles at certain points of the body homeopathy using minut v. 2
When a person suffers from a medical problem, it is natural for him to seek an appropriate treatment. What treatment would be the good choice depends on his or her own’s beliefs and faiths. Irrespective of the kinds of treatment chosen, I believe that a great deal of effectiveness of medicine is a direct outcome of patients’ mental attitude and condition. First of all, patient should shed the fear of deaths or negative thoughts. A positive thought in mind will always bolster to make wonder in patient’s life and recovery from the diseases. Also, patient should consult a good medical practitioner and should trust the judgement received from him or her. If a sick person has complete trust and faith on the doctor and the drugs prescribed, there will be less chances of missing the schedule of consumption of medicine. Secondly, when a person who is ill is in anxiety, additional complications can be seen in such person and it is likely that this will exacerbate the existing pitiable condition. Anxiety can, therefore, lead to additional unwanted symptoms and problems in patient. Additionally, the man suffering from such fateful diseases loses sleep and hunger. Hence, the consequences of lack of trust and faith can be fatal and disastrous. One more point that I would like to make is that different people show different reactions to a medicine. A drug, a medical treatment and related medical procedures work smoothly only when other health parameters are stable. Therefore, in my conclusion, I would like to state that we should seek medical service by keeping a faith in the system and should realise early that our own psychological reactions can determine the course of our health.
When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
suffers from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
problem, it is natural for him to seek an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
would be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "owns"?
own’s
beliefs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faiths
. Irrespective of the kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
chosen, I believe that a great deal of effectiveness of medicine is a direct outcome of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients’
mental attitude and condition.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
should shed the fear of deaths or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in mind will always bolster to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
wonder in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient’s
life and recovery from the diseases.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
should consult a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
practitioner and should trust the judgement received from him or her. If a sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has complete trust and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faith
on the doctor and the drugs prescribed, there will be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of missing the schedule of consumption of medicine.

Secondly
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is ill is in anxiety, additional complications can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and it is likely that this will exacerbate the existing pitiable condition. Anxiety can,
therefore
, lead to additional unwanted symptoms and problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
suffering from such fateful diseases loses sleep and hunger.
Hence
, the consequences of lack of trust and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faith
can be fatal and disastrous.

One more point that I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reactions to a medicine. A drug, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
procedures work
smoothly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when other health parameters are stable.
Therefore
, in my conclusion, I would like to state that we should seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
service by keeping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faith
in the system and should
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
early that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
psychological reactions can determine the course of our health.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay 1 A number of different medical traditions are now widely known and used Western medicine using drugs and surgery herbal medicine acupuncture using needles at certain points of the body homeopathy using minut v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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