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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement v.1

More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement v. 1
Multitasking: is it a boon or a bane? Though the term multitasking has become much more prevalent in last twenty years, it is actually not an entirely new sensation. Corporations across the world focus only on the bottom line so as to maximize shareholder wealth. They therefore expect from an employee to do multiple jobs at one go, and make him stretch his ability. I believe that it is absolutely unwarranted. There is a widespread assumption about employees' multitasking skill that it is useful for corporations. It is a kind of a snake oil symposium. At face value, it looks a boon, but the analysis and facts show otherwise. Multitasking causes loss of productivity, switching between cognitive tasks costs time and money both. Furthermore, inattention causes more mistakes, anxiety; prevents a critical innovation. The human brain, unlike computers, takes around twenty five minutes to return to the original task where it was left off. This results into Continuous Partial Attention (CPA) which can be termed as an illness. Ergo, it nowhere serves the purpose for corporations. There are apparent benefits associated with multitasking, whether it is perceived or real. Firstly, it helps the doer feel a sense of accomplishing more in a shorter pace, At the same point, the employee becomes more marketable compared to his peers. Secondly, employees feel confident in writing this attainment on their resumes, too. They, unarguably, believe that no stage is wasted away, and it also helps them kill boredom. Headhunters capitalize on such employees' so called quality and misconception, and up their expectations for them to complete many jobs in a day. This habit of some corporations becomes a crutch forever. Invariably. Both corporations and employees believe that multitasking is a boon. In my final analysis, the demerits associated with multitasking greatly outweigh its merits. On the other hand, mono-tasking is a more established and proven method of working.
Multitasking: is it a boon or a bane? Though the term multitasking has become much more prevalent in last twenty years, it is actually not an
entirely
new sensation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Corporations
across the world focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the bottom line
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
maximize shareholder wealth. They
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to do multiple jobs at one go, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him stretch his ability. I believe that it is
absolutely
unwarranted.

There is a widespread assumption about employees' multitasking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that it is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
. It is a
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
snake oil symposium. At face value, it looks a boon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the analysis and facts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
otherwise
. Multitasking causes loss of productivity, switching between cognitive tasks costs time and money both.
Furthermore
, inattention causes more mistakes, anxiety;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
a critical innovation. The human brain, unlike computers, takes around
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty five
minutes to return to the original task where it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
off. This results into Continuous Partial Attention (CPA) which can
be termed
as an illness. Ergo, it nowhere serves the purpose for corporations.

There are apparent benefits associated with multitasking, whether it
is perceived
or real.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the doer feel a sense of accomplishing more in a shorter pace, At the same point, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
becomes more marketable compared to his peers.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
feel confident in writing this attainment on their resumes, too. They,
unarguably
, believe that no stage
is wasted
away, and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them kill boredom. Headhunters capitalize on such employees'
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
quality and misconception, and up their expectations for them to complete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs in a day. This habit of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
becomes a crutch forever.
Invariably
. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
believe that multitasking is a boon.

In my final analysis, the demerits associated with multitasking
greatly
outweigh its merits.
On the other hand
, mono-tasking is a more established and proven method of working.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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